phil the losopher

i write music and put it on the internet and also hate capital letters

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

policeman: you're being arrested for forgery
me sliding across a £38 note: how about now

[Carol Vorderman @carolvorders]

Sunak talking about his "first flat "

When Sunak was 29 years old..

he and his wife rented a beachfront flat in Santa Monica, California
for $20,000 A MONTH

Just like all of us eh?

#ITVDebate

[Alfie Indra @AlfieIndra]

My debut EP ‘Shower Thoughts’ is out now.

I have self released this from my bedroom with no management, label or paid promo so any RT’s you can give this would be greatly appreciated ❤️

HOPE U LIKE IT x

https://t.co/xhKEogUw1N

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

@BSFurness who the fuck cares, viva la doms

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

@BSFurness don't fuck up the doms

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

#ItalianGP

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

spending 30 minutes at work stareing at my hands and having to explain to my manager, that no, I'm not stoned, I just have ADHD

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

tap water from the bathroom tastes worse than tap water from the kitchen and absolutely nothing can change my mind

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

@NotSoHenryLong @Arsenal good ol' win

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

"fuck it we ball" (dark rings round eyes, brain fog, malnourished and bordering insanity)

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

@UYRUFC wear sunhats on the slip 'n slide
#RosesAreRed

[University of York @UniOfYork]

She's everything. He's just Ken.

#RosesAreWhite

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

@NotSoHenryLong @OOContextWhite built different is our benny

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

my analysis within this paper is severely limited due to my lack of understanding of what I am doing

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

I've found the dream job. and it comes with the perfect work benefits of (drum roll please)....

COMPANY PENS

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

at university, rather than learn how to do complex maths, I invented a constant to fix my maths when it inevitably went wrong.

i called it funny maths, denoted by a fancy F

whenever something went wrong, i would multiply through by funny maths and get the "correct answer"

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

these tweets are unrelated.

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

@VicPhillips21 i blame obama

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

not licking walls is only recommended, not required

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

@VicPhillips21 i too, am deathly ill

[phil the losopher @phil_loss]

ongoing argument with my dad that imaginary numbers actually exist and are not just a meme