claire

willfully dumb & stupid

[anirudh @kamathematic]

being the first to jaywalk is so aura inducing the other pedestrians all look at each other like damn he’s really him

[ash @tripnf4ll]

white people be like i have to pick up my dog’s Invisilign

[skin 𖣐 destroyer @gloomingly]

they should let me go inside everyones house just to see

[johnny🪿 @kudosdunce]

what happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again

[Handsome B. Wonderful @JamPackard]

Dunkin Donuts iced coffee is the true measure of Karma. No cup tastes the same as the last and the more good energy you put into the world, the better cup you’ll get in return

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

Just wait until I pick at my skin over this….,

[trevy @chillextremist]

Walkers be like this walk is gonna change everything

[Adam Gilbert @AdamGilbert__]

the other toes that didn’t get stubbed

[kimberlee @kimberleeerose]

Dunkin' donuts is entirely hit or miss and that's what it makes it soooo east coast catholic. U have to suffer a little to reach transcendence. U have to know that it could snow in March

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

a cool green jacket is like lingerie to me

[claire @pigslippers]

save me peanut butter filled pretzel nuggets
peanut butter filled pretzel nuggets save me

[alexa @alexadoingstuff]

Save me 36 year old man

[claire @pigslippers]

i love a man who’s OSHA certified

[claire @pigslippers]

doctors at urgent care all talking about how cute my infected tattoo is

[stop being horny. find jesus @stopthehorny]

I forgot sex existed. I remembered. Now I am ANGRY.

[nancy @d0gtired]

hi queen we noticed your elevated basics from across the bar

[claire @pigslippers]

no evidence to back it up but i know i would literally kill it at being a dj. i feel the same way about playing the drums. im amazing at it

[claire @pigslippers]

beach fossils x turnover show look like my hinge algorithm on level 100 fr