eliza

normcore stan account

[eliza @pinky___swear]

@pantssoup you can make this slutty if you own it

[eliza @pinky___swear]

@pants oh hell yea

[eliza @pinky___swear]

i will likely delete this app in the next few days but i’m glad i didnt do it before the david lynch send off

[eliza @pinky___swear]

@bequietharriet calling this a “millenial complaint” when its the most gen z shit i’ve ever heard

[eliza @pinky___swear]

@tinysquash you cant say you’re reclaiming slurs while also using an insult thats almost exclusively used within the community and then say you’re being nice. in like any community at all

[eliza @pinky___swear]

@bertha_sasz @perfumegenius insane bot response here

[eliza @pinky___swear]

@chicletsbian breaking news: woman has a crush on a professional athlete thats plays for her team

[eliza @pinky___swear]

@ianisuglyyy unfortunately he’s kinda funny

[eliza @pinky___swear]

they already baited us like this w lord of the flies and i am NOT falling for it again (i’m already mad)

[eliza @pinky___swear]

i love when i go to tell my roommate something but he’s playing a game so i have to wait until he dies and then i have 49 seconds to get my point across or i have to wait until the next time he dies ❤️

[eliza @pinky___swear]

or its a 23 year old food service worker who is just trying to get a job in the oversaturated texh market and hates their life. good for you man, get out of my bar and stop insulting me to my face though

[eliza @pinky___swear]

i really love being a bartender but i’m getting to a point where i don’t want to do it anymore bc i’m tired of everyone asking me what i’m planning on doing next

[eliza @pinky___swear]

its always my friends or loved ones and they never mean it in a bad way they just really can’t understand that i chose this job and actually enjoy it and am not just doing it bc i’m waiting for the next big thing. i do this on purpose! i enjoy it! it fulfills me!

[eliza @pinky___swear]

if i text my ex a picture of a meatloaf and a meme that says “the hottest thing a guy can do is hit himself on the forehead and say ‘stupid stupid stupid’” are u gonna be mad at me

[eliza @pinky___swear]

@DoctorPissPants and you Should feel like that!

[eliza @pinky___swear]

rave reviews of my new glasses from coworkers (they’re still regular glass that i wore over contacts bc i’m too indecisive) (do i look hot would you kiss me my coworker said i look like zooey deschanel is that a good thing is it too sexy librarian do i look like my mother)

[eliza @pinky___swear]

@ihatethiskid also dont blend that shit before u cook it thats CRAZY but otherwise looks yummy as hell

[eliza @pinky___swear]

@ihatethiskid i love a sweet jam w cheese but if youre intimidated by that you could also make onion jam which is my hail mary for any mediocre dish

[eliza @pinky___swear]

just tossing this out there, GFM for my coworker’s very sweet and beautiful cat if anyone has extra change laying around! https://t.co/m4caU2G1xD