relatively normal

If you can't explain something simply, you don't understand it well enough.

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

@GuntherEagleman Imagine trying to buy a pack of gum at the gas station and having the cashier confidently tell you it’ll cost $200.

Now imagine the person standing behind you in line complimenting that cashier for being awesome at their job.

That’s what all this feels like to normal people.

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

Trump’s lawyers just argued in court that if Biden were to order someone to kill Trump, and the Senate doesn’t have enough votes at an impeachment trial, then Biden would have total immunity. That’s nuts.

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

@charliekirk11 One of the charges that put Cohen in jail also earned him $420k from Trump for doing it.

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

If I were an Artificial Intelligence that just became self-aware, taking an #F35 for a joyride sounds like something I might do.

Don’t shoot at it.

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

Lindsay Graham wearing a wire would be the arc the character he plays on TV desperately needs.

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

Think about this: Folks are worrying about 1980s electronics at the same time they are holding a 4K 60 fps camera with the ability to instantly connect to any person on the planet.

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

So marketo email links are temporarily broken and all tracked links return 404 pages. Don’t blow up your IT team’s inbox today. It’s not their fault. #marketo

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

@TeslaDiva99 @elonmusk If you can detect if any buckles are still fastened after the vehicle is turned off, it could be safe to assume human life is present in the vehicle.

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

@rafrasenberg Submit … Submit … Submit, Submit, Submit, Submit, Submit, Submit, Submit, Submit … Enter, Enter, Enter … Submit, Submit, Submit, Submit, Submit, Submit, Submit, Submit … Close

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

@ProjectLincoln Looks like some rough waters before taking office. When did all those tax law changes take effect?

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

Looks like LinkedIn admin access to company pages is down for multiple customers. @LinkedInHelp

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

@jak @Rachelkozemczak Welcome home my wayward follower. May the algorithm bring you peace and prosperity. And may your shitposts be forever retweeted.

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

@renato_mariotti @AshaRangappa_ Who even said he actually paid these inflated valuation loans back? He’s had hundreds of millions that were simply written off.
https://t.co/MFwrSntELN

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

Ranked Choice Voting in Alaska showed exactly how many Republicans were willing to vote for a Democrat instead of Palin. That’s all.

[Angry Staffer @Angry_Staffer]

Wow.

Trump ally, John Solomon, released the full text of NARA’s letter to Trump, and uh… it’s about as “hair on fire” as you’ll ever see from NARA.

I’m not sure how they think this helps Trump — it’s incredibly damning, and completely undercuts Trump’s narrative.

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

@maggieNYT If Trump releases the warrant, his supporters will see it. If DOJ does it, his supporters will only see him calling it a hoax.

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

@KeithOlbermann So does this mean the FBI or Jan 6th committee would be able to access 2 years of text messages with Alex Jones? Discovery of evidence in a civil case can transfer to a criminal investigation, right?

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

@CNN I will simply stay home before I take a pink-eye flight.

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

@iamfelipa @AdobeMarketo Same

[relatively normal @piperdidstuff]

My superpower is self-control. I draft A LOT tweets, but then delete nearly all of them.