smelly

D.A.R.E. to resist ME

[smelly @pipsqueakdotgov]

we are ants in an ant colony and someone is pouring coke in the colony

[smelly @pipsqueakdotgov]

last night was a lime scooter DUI

[Cuck Liddell @c0ck_l3snar]

pleading insanity when I go to court for an unpaid parking ticket

[Beautiful Normal Woman @SillyBWoman]

Fuck my Greg Heffley ass life

[dawn @rundry]

this is my Last day as a girl before i get processed into chicken feed

[sebastian castillo @bartlebytaco]

you are not ‘addicted’ to your phone, drugs, alcohol, etc. you are a champion of pleasure. start acting like one

[blaire @pissshit90001]

I am literally never drinking again until around maybe Friday at 7pm

[Meggy @igetsoinspired]

People are saying things to me like “you are strong and brave” which is never good

[dez @315dez]

don’t ask me to hang out until I lose 20 lbs

[stew garlic @strwberryvape]

twitter is the website for if you're just someone's weird sister

[Grace @gracecamille_]

the only notification i got after my phone was in DND for 4 hours

[🪽 @tinyangelette]

leftover fries tasting like plato’s closet .

[ariel @donotdelay]

Being raised in an anti SpongeBob household is a lifelong social handicap and lowkey abusive

[Pierre L’Fauex @LFauexProd]

Americans love cars because they combine their two favorite things: sitting down and killing people

[cameron @IngmarBagman]

Gay ppl be like do you wanna come hang out with an immigration lawyer and a pornstar

[Trixie Mattel™ @trixiemattel]

Clockniss Evertea

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

backrooms happens to me every day and then on top of it i get a microsoft teams message

[Beautiful Normal Woman @SillyBWoman]

Everything I say is a joke Unless you agree And in that case Speak to me privately I have even crazier ideas

[Sam Alberti @sam_alberti]

I hope they fall in love

[asia 𖦹 @brdgesbvrn]

seeing the pitt women w their hair down & out of scrubs tonight