Chris Ysbrand

[Chris Ysbrand @placentapop]

@MichaelKistNFL Hopefully, it's the year you stay in your lane and keep your opinions to yourself.

[Chris Ysbrand @placentapop]

@GrettaMaeBert @TampaPD I'm sick of seeing all you 🐱 wearing a mask! Stay in your hole and mind your own damn business. We are of no concern to you

[Chris Ysbrand @placentapop]

Took the white pill... I do feel alright!

[Pauly Casillas @PaulyCasillas]

When she won't let me In-N-Out, I Jack in the Box.

[Pauly Casillas @PaulyCasillas]

"The black will really bring out your eyes." #ChrisBrownPickupLines

[Nick Swardson @NickSwardson]

Every kiss may begin with Kay but anal starts with tequila.

[Chris Ysbrand @placentapop]

WTFuck

[Pauly Casillas @PaulyCasillas]

Titty fucking is the most romantic of all sexual acts because that's when you're the closest to her heart.

[Chris Ysbrand @placentapop]

@pikachelle you're welcome!

[Chris Ysbrand @placentapop]

The good ones go if you wait too long...

[Chris Ysbrand @placentapop]

@breannadarrough no no no... Like a popsicle

[Chris Ysbrand @placentapop]

@breannadarrough ha you know you like it. #jealous

[Tucker Max @TuckerMax]

Forget Madonna, Im watching Puppy Bowl @ halftime. Hoping this year a puppy gets arrested for staging unsanctioned MMA fights

[Chris Ysbrand @placentapop]

That's it... Im giving flowers for valentines day. #bj

[Aziz Ansari @azizansari]

Oh shit the Patriots just put in Ray "Voodoo" Tatum. Saracen is gonna have to really buckle down. #FridayNightLightsSuperBowlCommentary

[Chris Ysbrand @placentapop]

So the only good time to go pee during the super bowl is when the patriots have the ball. #ihatebothteams

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Turns out “Bingo Bango Bongo!” is not a good thing to yell out during sex.

[Chris Ysbrand @placentapop]

That geico pig is annoying! #onewasenough

[Chris Ysbrand @placentapop]

@CyleVasquez but it won't happen. #notthebetterteamtonight