Peter Lansverk

[Peter Lansverk @plansverk]

@Mariners Cal’s new plaque already marked on Eutaw Street

[Brooklyn Miller @BrookMiller25]

The way his mate is hyping him up is a vibe😂🤣

[ℳatt (matttomic.bsky.social) @matttomic]

For the past month, every time I've walked past a gas station with my girlfriend, I've turned the price of gas into a spot for a fictional Ontario FM radio station

[dustin Couch @Dustinkcouch]

waiter: anything to drink?

JK Rowling: the sorting hat can fuck but chooses not to

[Alex Hirsch @_AlexHirsch]

What the fresh hell. This is REAL. Filmed in 1958- about a conman who grifts a small town of suckers into building a wall. History not subtle enough for you? GUESS THE GRIFTER'S NAME
(And watch until the end)

[Zach Dunn @zachbdunn]

Officially starting a rumor that the dudes from Dave & Buster’s are the same as the dudes from Barnes & Noble. Dave Barnes and Buster Noble. Why not who fuckin cares

[Blake Azevedo @B_Azevedo24]

Me and Matt are no longer allowed in @IHOP

[Chad Johnson @ochocinco]

Honestly I’m bored w/ retirement, i have no competition in fifa, i tweet all day spreading love & changing peoples tweets, I’m cheap as hell, i eat McDonald’s & workout everyday, my kids only hit me for money & that’s my life dead ass.

[Paige Alena @itspaigealena]

me: if you drink this coffee you’re gonna get jittery and anxious and you’re gonna feel sick later.
my brain: good bean juice taste like chocolate make me go fast

[Dylan Park-Pettiford @dyllyp]

I wasn’t ready to laugh this hard

[Josh @LoserCrew]

I fucking love toast, what absolute genius took a bite of bread and was like "cook it again", unreal

[Abbie @AbbieEvansXO]

Satan: welcome to hell, I want all of us to be friends here

Me: huh, this doesn’t seem so bad

Satan: so everyone go around in the circle and say a little bit about yourself

[Alita: Battle Angel stan account @punished_picnic]

disney: we want a nice elegant design that just says ‘Walt Disney’
graphic designer: Walt Gisney
disney: looks great