, ':^(

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

[The most 20-25 minutes away guy you have ever heard in your entire life] yeah, i'm about 12 minutes away.

[… @Dreadful4Tymes]

If anything when ppl like Piers Morgan, Candace Owens, and Tucker Carlson host interviews like this it makes me hate them even more.

Bc it shows me you know how to ask good questions and do research—but choose to intentionally spread misinformation for the right price.

[wint @dril]

Oh youre jacking off to the sabrina carpenter sexy dog pic? Boring. Ill instead be jacking off to the album covers of Schubert , and Strauss

[Kikuchiyo @FunkyKikuchiyo]

I don’t think a person can appreciate @pants without spending some time quietly in the mundane. Eventually your imagination breaks free. Boredom can take us amazing places, and Mr. Joshua is a great tour guide.

[will @twothickscoops]

If you are carrying around a water bottle that’s below 32 ounces I am not fucking with you. I don’t need to make friends with a gerbil. Grow up

[❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ @tonyhawktruther]

Boy put down that turn off that Clairo and pick the up turn on the some Steely Dan!

[, ':^( @poke_ops]

@chewy905 No, but I got to rub it in my girlfriend's face which is priceless (her horse was notably absent from today's race) (because it SUCKS)

[, ':^( @poke_ops]

Just showed my girlfriend a video of a jet engine, and she told me she didn't think it was cool at all, and that she didn't care. When, I wonder, did our spark die out?

[b 𓆏 @duckysquish]

this account brings me so much joy u don’t understand

[#SISTER @FrostChildren]

The avian flu is really just letting everyone know who really fw eggs. I will pay up to $20 per dozen if need be. And yall have tapped out after $7. Embarrassing

[Neil Renic @NC_Renic]

Write every day for 1 hour. If you miss a writing day add 1 hour to the next. It’s incredible! Tomorrow I’m writing for 7 years.

[dane 🚩 @buckadeath]

Could have just taken him to New Jersey

[, ':^( @poke_ops]

@macironincheese I'm literally winning right now this game is just total ass

[, ':^( @poke_ops]

I think this might be the worst, most poorly designed "game" ever invented. Don't fall for it

[lisa @gaykittycorps]

i agree with the unabomber. "have their cake and eat it too" is a really poorly worded idiom

[, ':^( @poke_ops]

Woah....

[🌨️Ashton⛓️ @AshtonChains]

he has been baked