Papa Squat

advisor to the king. ordained minister he/him

[Papa Squat @PonceGiancarlo]

If I had a good smoothie right now I’d probably drink it.

[Papa Squat @PonceGiancarlo]

Finally

[Papa Squat @PonceGiancarlo]

Has anybody been talking about this??? Wowza!

[Thomas White @len0killer]

My uncle performed the first Minion autopsy out near Marietta. Year was ‘89. Thick, thick skin, like a boar’s. Downstairs was all cloaca. Kevin still visits the grave

[Breakfast Presley @Elmo_Oxygen]

padme HUSSEIN amidala

[Papa Squat @PonceGiancarlo]

UPDATE: the creature under my bed continues to whisper secrets but it’s only speaking Spanish and talking too fast for me :(

[Papa Squat @PonceGiancarlo]

D&G clear so hard it’s genuinely insane

[phi 🌹 @pinkorsomething]

genuinelt what possible foods could H even have

[cooper @marnieapologist]

my body does not know the difference between a mistake at work and being hunted for sport

[johntheman_heiscome_heisme_PREACHTRUTHILLUMINATIPl @heiscomeheisme]

CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, PAUL MCCARTNEY DID NOT DIE IN A CAR ACCIDENT IN 1966 AND GET REPLACED BY AN IMPOSTER. YOU, THE PERSON READING THIS, ON THE OTHER HAND, WERE

[Kevin Durant @KDTrey5]

Bubble guts woke me up out my sleep...I had to check my sheets for any slippage lol

[Isaac @isaacturnersong]

*scrolling through timeline*
Irrelevant to my mission.
Irrelevant to my mission.
Irrelevant to my mission.
Irrelevant to my mission.
Irrelevant to my mission.

[Yeah @Yeah__Penguin]

Saw a guy walking around just now

[hb @h3xenbrenner2]

Basically my job is to lean against a wall and toss an apple up and down and chuckle to myself every now and then. I make one hundred billion dollars a year

[John Attridge @John_Attridge]

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) you know none of that happened right?

[Andrew Woods @JimJarmuschHair]

Imagine if Dua Lipa was a Na’vi

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Literally loling. Guy shot me with a silver bullet because he thought I was a werewolf. I'm not and never have been. I am currently dying though on account of the bullet

[caesararum, BS, DOGS @caesararum]

yeah man, I don't know what's wrong with you, when i try to visualize an apple, I see it from all sides simultaneously; i see all apples it could have been; i see it as one continuous chain of apple from tree from seed from apple all the way back to the proto-apple

[Klonopin Centaur @facetedcarapace]

I'm something of a white mystery myself...

[jerry the junebug @jerry_junebug]

good morning bro just kidding (it’s night time in this joke)