Samuel Pontillo

I am legally allowed one sad boi tweet a day

[Solzhenixon @sardonic_greek]

“It’s simple. We, uh. Kill the Ourselves”

[LandedIt 🔜 CEO 2026 @XLandedIt]

When I get a little time off work and get a taste of unemployment

[topsᴋi! @dfwtopski]

let a nigga win lord

[Dalton Pruitt @daltonleepruitt]

Is The Rizzler the first child prodigy for having chill vibes? It’s like his dad recognized nah he can’t play violin or nothing like that, but he’s good at hanging out.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In Georgia I entered a Chick-fil-A drive-thru line of forty cars.

I turned off my engine. I prepared to wait the way my ancestors waited out a siege.

Six minutes later I was holding chicken.

I do not know what happened to the other thirty-nine cars. The line moved like water that had somewhere to be.

A young woman walked between the cars taking orders on a small tablet, on foot, in the sun, smiling like the sun was her idea.

I said thank you.

She said, "My pleasure."

I did not think about it then. I should have.

At the window I thanked the young man for the food.

"My pleasure."

I thanked him for the sauce.

"My pleasure."

I thanked him for thanking me—

"My pleasure."

I want to be clear about what was happening.

This was a duel.

In Japan I trained in courtesy for forty years. Bowing angles. Seasonal greetings. The correct depth of apology for seventeen distinct situations.

I was a white belt in that drive-thru.

I escalated. I used my most formal English. I thanked him on behalf of my entire family line.

He said, "My pleasure," and gave me extra sauce.

Extra sauce. Unprovoked. A counterattack.

I returned the next day to reclaim my honor.

It was Sunday. The restaurant was closed.

All of them were closed. In the entire country. They close every Sunday, and they have closed every Sunday since the beginning, because the founder made a promise, and the promise did not expire when he did.

I stood in the empty parking lot and understood I had lost twice.

Once to a teenager with sauce.

Once to a man I will never meet, who kept his word so long it became a building.

In my country we say a samurai's word is his life.

I had never seen a restaurant say it back.

I returned Monday. I ordered. And this time I said it first, before she could.

"My pleasure."

She smiled and said, "It sure is."

America, I surrender.

It was my pleasure.

[Samuel Pontillo @pontillo_samuel]

@IHateGoogleFi Is this a criticism or simply an observation?

[eve @csiirac]

people are dying from the #JerkOffAndKillYourselfChallenge

[¿ @umlarp]

putting in my too weak notice

[Samuel Pontillo @pontillo_samuel]

@quacksbambii Liberal

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

There is no great American republic without FAITH.

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

You can be a communist or you can be a patriot. You cannot be both.

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

Why is it ‘cancelled’ in the U.K. but ‘canceled’ in the U.S.?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

[Droll @TheMoosterChief]

New Hampshire Libertarian Party on a random Tuesday night:

[JΛCΣ @Elk_Pilled]

ran into that fucking wizard at the Rural King again. can’t stand that guy.

[ShaneSaw M̷a̷s̷s̷a̷c̷r̷e̷ @FinalDude78]

when your workweek is over but you still need to work for another 30 years

[Fat Lenny @FatLennyLJS]

White boy summer hasn't been the same since this nuke was dismantled