Kepler Correia

Craft beer enthusiast, Sci-fi nerd, Husband, Dad, Dog owner. My favorite days include all of those things.

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

@gusTootell Perfect.

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

@gusTootell Hey! Remember when you and I went to D.C. together… 25 YEARS AGO!!!!

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

@BaronVonGrant @Dennis_E_Taylor I can’t speak for the audio version, but I really liked this series:

https://t.co/HryKWAiyTv

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

@BaronVonGrant Still this same hellscape.

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

Hey @MaxFunHQ, he has apparently decided to gift Twitter to you guys. That is a pretty big #MaxFunDrive donation! What are you going to do now that you’re in charge?

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Let’s make Twitter maximum fun!

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

No no no! Return to sender. We have enough of them up here in Montana as it is. You keep yours.

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

@Jackiewiles First contact? That’s a rough start!

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

While we were bummed that the @krispykreme in Missoula didn’t have the penguin donuts, we understand that they don’t have all of the varieties at every store. That being said, we were not prepared for the abstract art interpretations of the donuts they did have!

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

@gusTootell I looked it up, and that plate design was launched in 2006. My first thought was, “Wow, someone else was there pretty recently!” Then I realized that ‘06 was 15 YEARS AGO! Which is also how long it feels like Covid has been going on… so I no longer know how time works…

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

“Of course we make them for girls too! And don’t worry, both models include wrist straps that we pulled off of some old Wiimotes, so you won’t accidentally throw them into your TV.”

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

Wait… what?! Someone designed this and had to pitch it to their boss:

“No, see, it’s an animal. So it’s totally not weird to pee in it’s nose. It’s not like it’s your ex wife, it would TOTALLY be weird to piss in HER nose… I now know…”

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

@gusTootell Well, this was last night at our house… but yours is ok, I guess.

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

Ah yes, back to school time. That magical time of year where the neighbor kid gets a recorder in music class and is sent outside to practice. Pacing up and down the street like an apprentice pied piper. Screeching that eternal classic, Hot Cross Buns, to the heavens.

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

I got a new job at a brewery a couple of weeks ago, and I love it. So many things are awful right now, and I just want to take a minute to be thankful and happy for some things that are good. My daughter started kindergarten, and I work at a brewery!

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

@PhilJWoods Alternate take: 90 yr old lady huddled in the corner with her rosary beads pleading with god to not let the horse pick her. She screams as she hears the stomping outside her door.

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

@PhilJWoods lil wife gave birth...

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

@PhilJWoods I mean, it seems like an unhealthy choice to eat either of theses kids.

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

@KCbeerchick

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

@BLWritersRoom lol

[Kepler Correia @pouringpints]

@EliHalterman Complete silence on twitter for 5 years, followed by a picture of a chair.