Think-shank

I say stuff. Other stuff, not so much.

[Think-shank @preciatechee]

Alright bladesmiths, today you're making damascus battle axes out of these used metal hip replacements. Then we're gonna chop up this elephant after shooting your blade with a .44 magnum. Also, fuck you.

[Think-shank @preciatechee]

Wife with food poisoning: "I don't know what time is anymore. I just shit myself and watch facebook videos."

[Think-shank @preciatechee]

My wife on prison: "I'm either gonna be takin ramen or givin ramen..."

[Think-shank @preciatechee]

I'm not real happy that I had to go to twitter for this.

[Think-shank @preciatechee]

@Doritos okay look. You gave me a reason to keep going with Spicy Sweet Chile. But I swear, to all the gods ever worshipped by man, I'll hunt down every bag of Hot Mustard until you either make it a flavor or I give up what little corn-chip rooted sanity I have left.

[Think-shank @preciatechee]

Some of you haven't drunk-cried at 5am because of An American Tale: Fievel Goes West, and it shows.

[Think-shank @preciatechee]

@mmschocolate why not make M&Ms with coffee beans in them? Call them "select" or market them as "energy", who cares...I just want a candy-coated chocolate-covered coffee bean.

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

Vaccines are free, safe, and convenient.

[Think-shank @preciatechee]

#teamdai

[Blockhead @BlockheadNYC]

Middle aged rappers still banking on being tough is pretty funny. Like, bro, we are OLD. We take vitamins, got high cholesterol and throw out our backs when we sneeze. Our fighting days are behind us and it's okay.

[Michael Harriot @michaelharriot]

We’re watching the Republican Party split into two factions:

1. White nationalists

2. White nationalists with merch.

[Dan Rather @DanRather]

There is a lot that is wrong, very wrong and tragic in the world. But one thing I love is that we seem to be in a golden age of apples - crisp, flavorful, an impressive array of goodness in perfect natural packaging. 🍎

[Chairman @WSBChairman]

The stock market just turned into a free to play mobile game.

[Think-shank @preciatechee]

Stanley Tucci's girlish screams in the movie Beethoven really flavor how amazing he is as an actor.

[Philosophy On Ice @PhilosophyOI]

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
Mark Twain

[Think-shank @preciatechee]

Had a guy hold a door for me, who wasn't wearing a mask. Pick a side, you elbow-biting fuckhead.

[Think-shank @preciatechee]

If you can watch "Good night, and good luck." without feeling sick, God help you.

[Lance Allred @lanceallred41]

So is Kaepernick taking a knee still an inappropriate way to protest?

[Tye Winters, DO @tmswDO]

We're not asking for you to shoot them like you shoot us.
We're asking you to NOT shoot us like you don't shoot them.