Tommie Davis

Of the utmost impotence.

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

"@zscasey: Stomp the yard...We have a gopher problem" #greatsequels

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

My Mom didn't realize her new vehicle was a "Heavy Metal" edition.

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

Cinnabon candles have a scent similar to what I think a piss covered cat, aflame, would smell like.

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

Are anti-depressants the only gateway to optimism?

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

"I wasn't talking to you."

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

@nottjmiller what if I just eat that shit whole? No peel to toss.

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

8 flies in my house that keep evading me but I'll get em I'm about to shit in the living room floor and wait with swatter in hand

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

Anyone know how to collect the silver dust of a moth? I'd like to put it in a leather pouch and throw it in the air as I enter a room.

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

CNN Breaking News: Porn "actress" diagnosed with HIV. I was under the impression it was a prerequisite to get into the porn industry.

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

"My penis is INCREDIBLY average, but I love to eat pussy." - honest pickup line

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

@typeatwill skip it. Watch Point Break instead.

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

Slow down on the metaphors tobey keith

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

@typeatwill cum pockets.. Just strange

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

@typeatwill I have on good authority you're going to be pulled into an alley against your will and fucked proper

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

Anal beer bongs! All the kids are tryin' it!

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

Maybe a Vaginal freshness packet? You know? Typically found in packs o' beef jerky. It needs to exist.

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

@typeatwill Ahoy!

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

@jondaly so much more satisfying to spit it out too

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

Just proclaimed my love for the lady, in the yard, with round-up! I'm such a romantic.

[Tommie Davis @preciousnorman]

These chicken soup for the ___ lover's soul books are fucking hilarious