pres

terminally silly and whimsy

[Errai @errai]

Oh man I (washes hands) love cooking so much (washes hands) and it’s so easy to (washes hands) make anything you want

[dash @thedigitaldash_]

it’s been like 15+ years and a pair of sweatpants stuffed into some uggs is still a very fab look to me. i’m sorry like it’s so chic. i don’t think it’ll ever look bad

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

once i figure out how to log into mychart i'll be unstoppable

[Pluppythem Nation @PupgirlNation]

Woah this sleepover is gonna be pawsome! We are gonna play video games and stay up late and- honk shoo mimimi honk shoo 😪😪

[Leaf @loveyleaf0000]

my period app keeps asking me perverted questions

[KJ 𝕩 @YeaaKJ]

i know the paper towels hate to see me coming in the kitchen

[claire rowden @clx1re]

currently switching between reading the odyssey and one of the off campus books, don’t ever let them tell you that you can’t contain multitudes girls

[. @playboicurrryy]

saying "are our" in a sentence

[Soleil @soleiljolina]

Having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like I can’t be saved

[@ratlimit @ratlimit]

HIPAA should include girlfriend’s askinghow much you have’ve to drink

[Scoob @Scoobydouchebag]

There are weeks when no hog is cranked and there are days when weeks of hog are cranked

[soilliam @soilliam]

The secret to life is having clothes you like wearing 

[bailey @Baileymoon15]

i was put on earth to go out to dinner

[Star crave @starcravingspr]

Kate Upton's zero gravity photo shoot for sports illustrated in 2014.

[Christopher @molochofficial]

whenever some insurance form or other asks about my “primary care physician” it’s like ah yes you mean the CVS minute clinic

[ms wiener mcgee @fartbuttsex30]

i don’t have a good grip on life because all the grip went to my pussy