TT the Whiz Kid

(I don’t get grammar and I don’t claim to!)

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

My biggest takeaway from substitute teaching is that I do not have the strength or negotiation skills to be the mediator of the two competing groups of horse girls in tenth grade

[kit @kit67032729]

Me trying to break the ice with my new coworkers: “Sooooooo… How much money do you guys make?”

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

DC is still in its buzzfeed era

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

Imagine crossing paths with a couple performing PDA while a man walks a cat on a leash. Imagine being me

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

@izzigeller 😘

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

I literally knew there was gonna be some weird bot account for this

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

Using my bare foot to move the running space heater my building gave me after the entire HVAC system failed 9 months ago and I emailed and said, “it’s below 58° in my room when I wake up in the morning” and they said “we’re sorry to hear that”

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

Going to the Australian Embassy tomorrow because my grandpa’s having issues Googling something

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

Listening to Paul Simon and subscribing to substacks. Ft. sbux snack box

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

Met this girl who hates Paul Simon now all I can listen to is Paul Simon

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

Overheard at Nats game: “that’s just first base BABY”

I will be getting this as a lip tat

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

Yeah so Boars Head chose the same stock music for a meat commercial as I did for the opera

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

You ever have a guy ask for your insta and you say “what, so you can vet me?” And then he never replies to you and also doesn’t follow you and then you’re like. Wow I just got vetted

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

If You Apply Two Faced Extreme Lip Plumper 10+ Times Per Night Out And Now Think You Are Experiencing Chemical Burn You Could Be Entitled To Compensation

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

Audibly and physically cringed 30+ times

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

Well, an apartment because I refuse to contribute to suburban sprawl

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

If student debt gets cancelled I pinky promise I’ll buy a house

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

Btw three months since I’ve last stuck my hand down the garbage disposal

I think

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

I can’t explain the lens through which I watch every real housewives franchise it’s genuinely too:

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

It is easier to tell people I am not interested in television than to tell them the kind of television I am interested in

[TT the Whiz Kid @probablykit]

Time to go make another animation for tiktok that will either get 3k likes or 0 likes. I can’t figure that thing out