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@hell_line0 This study has been cancelled due to the overwhelming amount of cheesecake consumed and the temporary positive effects, followed by sadness at having no more cheesecake.

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@hell_line0 “Current effects of an SSRI cocktail and Diet Coke on overall function and irritability as it relates to making it through a fucking day on the Buzzfeed quiz”

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@notlesbianian @sug4rmouse I have a 5-yr old who is definitely a 5yr old in spirit. People have also said “she’s doing so well” while also “wow no screens!” It SUCKS to leave a restaurant if she’s lost it but oh well. Leftovers! I’m training her to be an adult one day.

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@NoblestCalling Marriage was a financial pact between 2 families using humans as collateral. The first marriage contact that actually protected women financially is a Ketubbah (Jewish contract) found in ancient Egyptian burial sites.

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@veryADVANCED @BlkMissFrizzle Somehow this feels related to American lack of critical thinking skills and ability to read book passages.

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@idontlikething Yuuuuup. That they don’t have an idea when it will be up makes it worse.

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@CA_DMV @thepalatetrails Can y’all fix the outage at the offices please?

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So, um…anyone know when the DMV in California when will resolve its server? I just wanna get an ID??

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@CA_DMV

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@WillieHandler Good luck. I had to teach my mom Shutterfly and I’ve not recovered.

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@athenaeumbc @the_culturist_ So grateful to have gone to college and had my overall education before now.

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@DrAllyLouks I’m going to need this book redone please.

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My current goal is to learn to be comfy with my stainless steel skillet, and not be terrified of things getting stuck. Made a Dutch baby tonight and feel like a rockstar.

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@TJ_Cooney Heh. I work for a company in the UK and the fees and chaos (my package is here but they won’t give it to me!) is absolutely infuriating.

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@natgrace79 That’s just rage bait.

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@mskmalibu @greateststarr Mainland Poke, where did you go?!

Still reeling from Il Fornaio closing in Beverly Hills.

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Don’t cry for me Argentina, the truth is I never left you and will try and win this fucking game…all through the wild years…

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Egypt? Fucking awesome. I’ll root for ‘em! Gimme some Giza, a camel, and Cairo, I’m all for it.

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“Anti-Semitism is overblown”

Okay then why did I just get an email that someone vandalized my kids Jewish summer camp? She’s 5, she doesn’t even know what a swastika is.

[Alyssa 🌻 @alyssaleann]

Hi @Sethrogen (+ Keanu): the central library in my city badly needs a new building and will soon be raising funds

I’m sure everyone in Huntsville, Alabama would be thrilled to visit the Rogen-Reeves Public Library

I’ll be the interior designer, and I promise the firm I work for will make it as beautiful as your money allows. With your contributions, we could make something very special!

(This is not a joke. The project is on hold until it can be properly funded, and as a formerly lonely bookish kid, this is my dream project. I would love for our city to have an exceptional library that will be loved for generations!)

Best,
Alyssa 🤍