The most depressing thing about this is realizing although it’s a joke there are WAY too many people in this country who legitimately feel this way
“I’ll gladly suffer as long as the people I dislike are suffering slightly more than I am”
You know how at the end of Return of the King, Samwise takes a deep breath and says "Well, I'm back"? That's me coming back to Alabama except I'm so goddamn annoyed
Dude beside me at the restaurant just told his wife that he cheated on her and she is crying loudly, over at my table it’s miller time though. #millertime