Love people in their love language, not yours. If you are to develop an intimate relationship and love someone’s soul, you need to know their desires. Don’t only express love in a language that would make you feel loved, because it will not mean to them what it would mean to you.
I think when you’re transitioning from being a people pleaser to someone with more boundaries it’s so weird, because it’s hard to tell if you’re being mean or if you’re just listening to your own feelings because you’re so used to this & only thinking about others