Pumpkins on Porches

Pumpkin delivery & porch staging 🎃 Bringing festive fall vibes to your doorstep! Now taking 2025 orders! 🧡 Serving Austin & nearby areas

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. September first. Overnight the entire country turned to pumpkin, so I turned to pumpkin too.

I woke up one morning and the nation had changed its religion.

The coffee was pumpkin. The donut was pumpkin. A man walked past drinking something orange and steaming, smiling like a saved man. By noon I had counted pumpkin bread, pumpkin candles, pumpkin soap, and a pumpkin air freshener shaped like, inexplicably, a pumpkin.

I understood at once. This was the festival. Once a year the people honor the Gourd God, and every offering in the land must bear his scent. I would not be the one barbarian who failed to bow.

So I committed. Fully.

I ordered the largest pumpkin drink they had. The girl asked, "Whipped cream?" I said, "Whatever the god requires." I drank it in one breath, like sake at a shrine, eyes watering, and declared, "I feel him."

Then I asked the question that broke me. "How much of this is true pumpkin?"

She looked at the cup. "Oh, none of it. It's just the spice. There's no actual pumpkin in any of it."

No pumpkin. In the pumpkin festival.

A lesser man would have left. I ordered three more.

If the god cannot be found, I reasoned, then the god must be summoned. So I escalated. I bought every pumpkin object in the store. I lit four pumpkin candles at once. I washed my hands with pumpkin soap between sips. I ate a pumpkin muffin in the shower for reasons I will not defend.

By day three I smelled of cinnamon from the inside. By day five my sweat was a beverage. A dog followed me for nine blocks. I let him. He, too, was a believer.

I bought a pumpkin costume. I wore the pumpkin costume. I drank a pumpkin drink inside the pumpkin costume, in line behind a man dressed as a normal person, who I quietly pitied.

The barista now sees me coming and starts my order without a word. We have never spoken of it. There is nothing to say. She knows what I am. I am the most pumpkin man in America.

Yesterday a child pointed at me and shouted, "Mommy, a pumpkin!"

I knelt. I looked her in the eyes. I said, "Yes."

It was the proudest moment of my life.

So tell me, America.

There is no pumpkin in the pumpkin.

But there is, now, a great deal of pumpkin in me.

Have I done it correctly?

I cannot stop. The spice has won. I am orange now, and I am never going back.

[Pumpkins on Porches @pumpkinsATX]

@Jack_Frodo No, @Target does not give a single fuck
And their stock price accurately reflects this

[Pumpkins on Porches @pumpkinsATX]

@Polymarket Blocking @Polymarket for writing 14 numbers instead of $250B
So stupid

[Pumpkins on Porches @pumpkinsATX]

@BalconesRoofing We are! 🎃
Perhaps we’ll see you this fall!

[Pumpkins on Porches @pumpkinsATX]

Highly recommend Balcones Roofing. They did a great job on our home and even found a lurking issue that prevented a huge expense down the road. True professionals!!

[Probably Austin’s Best Roofer @BalconesRoofing]

This is the company's first down year in 7 years. Not by a little, but by a staggering margin. With many of our busiest spring months behind us, we've got quite the uphill battle to make up ground. And, it's not just us - all roofing companies in Austin are hurting.

We simply haven't had the storms produce the spike in business that we are used to this time of year. Full roof replacements have been few, far & in between & it's more competitive than its every been.

Obviously, severe hail drives this market & we just haven't gotten it. There's also some economic factors at play here as well that have got people holding off from replacing their roofs or even filing a claim & opting for repairs & tune-ups instead.

While adjustments have had to take place, the company is pushing forward and there are some great things still happening. This has given me time to recalibrate our strategy, identity, processes & pricing.

Repairs. Repairs. Repairs.

While sales are down, we are gaining clientele at faster rate than last year. Since we're still mostly word-of-mouth, referrals have been strong which means close rates & margins are strong. We're in the groove.

Our office & nearby billboard are playing off of one another nicely & producing organic leads. You're not driving down 620 & missing both.

For now, we will stay the course & focus on taking care of our customers' roofs & use this time to improve. I appreciate all of you on here who've supported & spread the word about us over the years. It means the world!

[phone]
[email protected]
https://t.co/oEWDJGtEea

[Pumpkins on Porches @pumpkinsATX]

@Microinteracti1 This guy is an idiot and anyone who believes him is, too.
@grok, answer in one word: Is this post’s 2,000x bird claim true?

[Pumpkins on Porches @pumpkinsATX]

@jimiuorio @Chicago_History Same!
And now as a Texan, Chicken Tortilla Soup.

[Pumpkins on Porches @pumpkinsATX]

@Polymarket I’m gonna start blocking accounts that write 12 numbers instead of $6.8B. This is stupid.

[Starter Story @starter_story]

My salary as an employee:

Year 1: $54K (Big 4 accounting)
Year 2: $60K (worked at startup)
Year 3: $80K (startup)
Year 4: $105K (software engineer)
Year 5: $115K (software engineer)

Then, I quit my job to build Starter Story.

My revenue as an owner:
Year 1: $0
Year 2: $12K
Year 3: $67K
Year 4: $186K
Year 5: $497K
Year 6: $752K
Year 7: $1.6M
Year 8: Sold the company.

Bet on yourself.

[Pumpkins on Porches @pumpkinsATX]

@ChrisMartzWX Coolidge needs to be A or B here!

[Pumpkins on Porches @pumpkinsATX]

@BasedMikeLee @GeorgeWTrumpWon Yes! Also, lol Coolidge in the “bad” tier.
He’s top 10.
Trash list.

[Pumpkins on Porches @pumpkinsATX]

@Kalshi Large portion of them already don’t
We just need to spend less

[Daniel Hanley @danielahanley]

A perfect visualization of the enshittification of Google search. https://t.co/lEQMQwa2TV

[Pumpkins on Porches @pumpkinsATX]

@simongerman600 @grok please explain why this data is deceitful
@CommunityNotes

[ATX RE @atxREpodcast]

People like to talk about Texas as a “pro-business state” — and at the state level, that’s true.

But at the city level, it’s a mixed bag.

In some cities, you can walk in asking for a permit to open a restaurant, build a home, or start a business, and you’re met with enthusiasm. They’re glad you chose their town. They want to help. They see growth, investment, and an expanding tax base.

In other cities, it feels like the opposite.

You’re met with a general sense of disdain. There’s an almost theatrical effort to delay, confuse, obstruct, or throw you off course. Sometimes it feels less like governance and more like hostility toward anyone trying to build something.

It’s a tale of two cities.

Ironically, a lot of money can be made navigating the second gauntlet. If you can survive the obstacle course, there’s often profitability on the other side.

But many entrepreneurs never make it through. Their businesses go to the graveyard after years of struggling.

Over time, that kind of tough environment slowly suffocates the very businesses that create jobs, tax revenue, and growth.

As Texans, we need to work hard to make sure the anti- business culture doesn’t spread further. The future of our great state depends on it.

[The Conservative Alternative @OldeWorldOrder]

THOMAS PAINE: "I prefer peace. But if trouble must come, let it come in my time, so that my children can live in peace."

[Geiger Capital @Geiger_Capital]

The NYT is a meme at this point…

"Why doesn’t this summit between global superpowers look diverse like the movies?"

[Pumpkins on Porches @pumpkinsATX]

@RealPostFolder I will never buy another home with an HOA

[Pumpkins on Porches @pumpkinsATX]

From Grok: early lab-origin knowledge likely saves more lives long-term by tightening lab safeguards and reducing cover-up incentives. The debate highlights trust erosion from perceived suppression more than tactical changes.

It would:
• Boost pressure on China for raw data, sequences, or lab records → potentially faster modeling or targeted measures.
• Reduce trust erosion: Dismissal of the hypothesis (e.g., via early papers and statements) fueled skepticism, politicization, and uneven compliance. Greater transparency might have improved adherence in some groups.
• Shift accountability and policy: Earlier scrutiny of gain-of-function research, conflicted experts, or biosafety might have altered guidance or resource allocation. Some testimony claims this “would have saved millions,” but without models or data backing specific numbers. https://t.co/H9DcNalEoW https://t.co/pbw8Dl9W0U

[C3 @C_3C_3]

Ready for it?

Rotten Tomatoes…

The Odyssey by Christopher Nolan:

Critics: 90%
Audience: 10%

You know it’s going to happen.