Puntashtic

If you're groaning, I'm doing my job right.

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

@gdavies if someone had submitted a frozen, blue ice pack for the "coolest blue thing" #Taskmaster challenge, would they have won?

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

@RonJichardson, you've sprouted since we last saw you (on YouTube).

@8Outof10Cats #8outof10catsdoescountdown #brusselssprouts #suit #Christmasspecial #Christmas2020

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

Put three of Britain's most chaotic comedians in a room, in one of the most chaotic years to date, and get a remarkably chill show... I expected better.
#BigFatQuizofTheyear #Lycetttokill @jimmycarr @RichardAyoade @joelycett #JamesAcaster #BestOf2020 #cinnamonandshepherdspie

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

*Dog snarls*

Future me: "Ok, Sgnarls Barkley"

#Gnarlsbarkley #dogs #dogsoftwitter #puns @dog_feelings

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

Planning #StarTrek themed #Halloween costumes for my dogs.

Orli can be Lucutest of Bork*
Loki can join Barkfleet

*Orli is insupawdinate and doesn't get to join Barkfleet

#puns #NerdyLockdownLooks

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

Drinks with the brojitos, featuring:

- Long Island Iced Steve
- Marg-Harry-ta
- Bloody Rosemary

#drinktober #puns #mondaymuntday

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

Your ability to withstand us is toast. #gibtoast #dogsoftwitter

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

Waiting for animal pharma companies to run a "Bye Fleacia" campaign for their flea control products, featuring a sassy dog. Probably a poodle with a volumous perm.

#petcare #health #marketing #Pharmaceuticals #ByeFelicia

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

The neighstalgia is real. @GlenworthValley #horseriding

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

It seems there's a growing number of people planting the forbidden #seedsfromchina despite being warned not to...
Please don't, as they could be invasive or contain pests or disease.

Although...
#beanmintingtoaskyouwhatthoseseedswere #rootingforbeans
https://t.co/OMhDAtkRy5

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

Update: mad I didn't call him a moativational speaker
#motivation #puns

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

A friend is suddenly keen on oat milk and coffee and thinks we really oat to know aboat it. He swore an oath; said it was life oatering.
@oatly #promoational #coffee #oatmilk #milk

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

I'm not toatally convinced I've milked this enough yet.

#puns @oatly #comeoatme

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

Can't travel but if we leave the washing long enough, we can visit Mt Washmore.

#mtrushmore
#travel
#COVID19

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

Panic buying #mint #twirl bites because you're not sure when you'll see them again. @CadburyAU #chocolate #minttobe #mintifest #manifesting #mintcondition #mintfulness #mintalhealth

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

@CadburyAU I'm probably your biggest buyer of #mint #twirl bites. Or at least I was, until I walked into the shopping centre and found they'd been replaced with #Caramilk. The disappointmint is real. Please bring them back. #2020worstyear

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

Our neighbour's rooster is making a lot of noise this morning. He's really crowing at it.
#puns #puntwitter

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

Why is grated cheese not called cheesoning?
#isthispuntoocheesy #cheese #food #cooking

[Puntashtic @puntashtic]

Squids swimming away: "I'mma squidaddle"

#SquidGoals
#squid #aquarium #puns #swim
#ocean