salty weirdo matthew barney

••unreasonably indignant••

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

@cryptofeminism Same

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

Last night I forgot to pray that my tits were sitting right and it shows

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

Everyone: did you know tame impala is just one guy ????

Me: did you know panic at the disco is just one guy ??? (Derogatory)

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

I have this irrational fear that @3OH3 is going to end up being the late 00s version of nirvana by metric of like cyclical pop-culture relevance and attributed representation of a time period

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

We all agree that in writing “fuckin” is jn good fun and unserious but that g is a load bearing g and “fucking” is in context of something to be taken seriously ???? Right ?

[dick and balls enthusiast @cremepuppet]

i love that george orwell book 1969

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

On the 8th day god created generative AI so we could one day listen to a version of skinny love where Justin Vernon says the n word

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨: Tuesday’s rapture is expected to not impact the attendance of sold out @ViagraBoys show in Brooklyn on Thursday at all

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

@swamp___angel Stg you were 19 in this photo

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

@swamp___angel This is literally how poopy got her name

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

actually, Blondie is the name of the band. The front-woman is Blondie’s monster.

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

It is what it is (it’s bullshit)

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

Men used to go to war, now they’re like “if we got a hundred of us together you think we could kill one gorilla?”

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

your friends will act like townspeople and try to kill him

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

So far this year I’ve learned that if you date a small handful of men with major character flaws who don’t like you that much you can mentally smoosh them all together and create this « Frankenstein’s boyfriend » sort of thing

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

showing up drunk to work is a sign that you’re tired of the lack of competition and you have to create your own « hard mode »

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

Celibacy is natures SSRI

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

I wouldn’t say I have a « roster » but I do have one guy trying to float out the idea of fucking me in the ass and a different guy floating out the idea of me fucking him in the ass. this is directly related to being a hot girl with a mullet in Brooklyn and nothing else

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

Who among us hasn’t washed themself in the sink bc they needed to bathe but were already having a good hair day ?

[salty weirdo matthew barney @pussynails]

@swamp___angel “Which could mean nothing” 😂