Puma

I only tweet to complain.

[Puma @puumsquad]

You know, the shortest way to say
“Reponsible for the death of...”
or
“Died after the arrest...
or
“Medical emergency while in police custody....”

Is to CALL IT WHAT IT IS.

Murder.

[Puma @puumsquad]

It's always "pay to increase your storage" but never "delete the 70GB of files you haven't opened since 2016"

[Puma @puumsquad]

@SeatGeek Hey I can’t log in to my account with Facebook anymore so I can’t access my tickets. Can you help?

I have a game to get to tonight

[Puma @puumsquad]

Just sent a 2,000 word scoping email for my side business proving Creatives are capable of pretending to be Account people.

My head hurts.

[Puma @puumsquad]

@GoogleMyBiz trying to help a client get verified. The code came in the mail and when I type it in I’m told it’s wrong. We really need to get this up and running ASAP please.

[Puma @puumsquad]

I finally bought the you’re* hat.

[Puma @puumsquad]

@katerohrich Didn’t you hear? The new 5-9 is actually getting your work done that you couldn’t do all day bc meetings.

[Puma @puumsquad]

Starting a list of words that look wrong when they’re spelled right.

The word “jeweler” seems like it has too many Es.

[Puma @puumsquad]

@queenofpern Keep smoochin’ fool 😘😘

[Puma @puumsquad]

@AirPelle @IKEAUSA Brooo 3 hours wandering around.

Inventory online said the stuff was in stock. And the lil pieces of paper in store ain’t cutting it.

They need to update their systems post-1999.

I hold Swedish companies to a higher standard.

[Puma @puumsquad]

My ass bought a chair frame with no cushion today.

How is @IKEAUSA not set up for buy online/pick up in store in Bay Area?

How is there always only 1 of 2 parts I need at @IKEAUSA in Emeryville AND Palo Alto? Why is inventory not 1:1?

Your. Shit. Is. Jumbled.

[Puma @puumsquad]

2 weeks into Jan. - an observation

It takes 5 days to get to Wednesday Thursday doesn’t exist it’s Friday.

[Puma @puumsquad]

@mattfaulk I got a similar papa quote to @engers

“The grass is greener where you water it.”

Cultivation is key.

[Puma @puumsquad]

Show me a Copywriter who doesn’t correct their text typos within 3 seconds of sending.

[Puma @puumsquad]

@SrNathanGregory Wow I love this!

[Rep. Eric Swalwell @RepSwalwell]

Dr. Jill Biden. Pass it on.

[Puma @puumsquad]

How many @NFL players need to test positive before we just cancel? Asking for all #Broncos fans.

[Puma @puumsquad]

Tryna get a venmo tag. Stay tuned.

[Puma @puumsquad]

@HemlockHottie_ Did you make a venmo yet? Or cash app?

[BigHeadBS💨 @BigHeadBS]

“New Members Only”

*Canceled subscription, signed back up with different email and credit card, took 60 seconds to give em the big 🖕 #HuluBlackFriday