Peet

Swimming, video games, anime, Star Wars, sometime streamer

[Xevi @xeviuniverse]

How Michael Jackson Became an Honorary Crip

[Peet @pwgdizzle]

@ATLAreaWx I’ll take it if it means I don’t have to drive home from work in the dark.

[Peet @pwgdizzle]

@shoe0nhead Samurai were paid in food and Japan had periodic famines and don’t forget earth quakes. Most of us aren’t cruel enough to be pirates. Privateers though? Maybe. Cowboy seems like the best answer.

[Peet @pwgdizzle]

This is some Bull-Leaping Fresco type shit.

[Dami’ Adenuga @DAMIADENUGA]

Bull was like “who tf is this dude?”😂

[JustJamie @OYourNameHereO]

When you think you’re the coolest guy in the parking lot and then this BASSET pulls in…😂😂😂

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[Peet @pwgdizzle]

@JessieStarTF @KenobiStig @AndrewBroering But it isn’t. The city states involved did exist: https://t.co/oe81E7hO26

[Peet @pwgdizzle]

@JoyceCarolOates They were following a tried and true formula. Sherlock and Poirot didn’t follow up on the trial either. If you want to see criminals get justice then watch Perry Mason or Matlock.

[Peet @pwgdizzle]

@sorayatokyo For a moment I thought Fei was talking to Hunter S Thompson.

[Peet @pwgdizzle]

@othatsraspberry This is excellent.

[Peet @pwgdizzle]

@ThatEricAlper He would start as Sweetums and turn into Kermit.

[Peet @pwgdizzle]

@majuular @ReverendHopkins Should’ve paired it with lightning and thunder effects.

[Peet @pwgdizzle]

@JeremyClarkson wishing you and your family good health and happiness. I’ve just finished season 5 of the farm and have a question. You have a water source on your farm. Is there a reason you can’t use it during dry periods to water your crops?

[Peet @pwgdizzle]

@allureema He deserves to be part of the main crew.

[Peet @pwgdizzle]

@blissfulspring_ All the Xenoblade dubs are pretty horrible. X is probably the most tolerable. The Japanese voice acting is like the best of every anime you’ve ever seen. In 2 the VA for Char even makes a cameo as a blade Aegaeon.

[Peet @pwgdizzle]

@Tmc0610 https://t.co/bMhpXuyC3R

[Peet @pwgdizzle]

@akafaceUS https://t.co/bMhpXuyC3R

[Elmo @elmo]

Elmo just wants to set the record straight... ❤️❤️ GO TEAM USA! ⚽

[l feII in Dior @LIRIO_AG]

“Ay no, tarjeta gris otra vez”.

[Reuters @Reuters]

🦛 The Berlin Zoo announced the name of its newborn pygmy hippopotamus — a rare mammal native to West Africa: Broetchen, which is German for ‘bread roll’