Chikwado

Software Engineer | Director, Paradiso Technologies Limited | Onye nkuzi mahadum na Unizik.

[Chikwado @quado_]

@REMASCULATE This lady is bang average. What's all the fuse about?

[her.🎀 @luv1bun]

Doctor: “Are you on any birth control?”

Patient: “No.”

Doctor: “Are you using condoms?”

Patient: “No.”

Doctor: “Are you trying to get pregnant?”

Patient: “No.”

silence

Doctor: “…Okay.”

Patient: “…”

Doctor: “So just… no protection at all?”

Patient: “Yeah.”

Doctor: “And no plan for pregnancy either?”

Patient: “Nope.”

long pause

Doctor: “So we’re just… trusting the universe?”

Patient: “Pretty much.”

Doctor: “…I’m going to need a second to process that.”

[Chikwado @quado_]

@Tempo_rsa @LarryMadowo The convicted data is directly proportional to those in prison. How else do you imprison people in SA ?

[Chikwado @quado_]

@AdewaleYusuf_ NA

[Matthias Schmidt @eurofounder]

My son asked for a PS5 for Christmas

I said no

“Son, PlayStation is made by an evil corporation built on worker exploitation”

I got him another electronic gift instead - an EU-approved USB-C cable

He opened it with visible disgust

Then something utterly shocking happened

My wife’s boyfriend Arnold got him the PlayStation my son wanted

“Thank you uncle Arnold” my son hugged him for almost a minute

I pulled my wife aside and explained that her lover is undermining our values

She mumbled “at least he got him a real gift”

The morning after, while my son was still asleep, I took his console and went to the store

Thanks to the wonderful EU consumer protection law, I was able to get a full cash refund of €549

Then I bought a gift for my son that he truly deserves

€549 worth of carbon offset credits

When I came home my son was crying looking for his PS5

I smiled and showed him the carbon certificate

He started shaking and cried even more

Being a good parent means teaching your child European values

And I know my son will thank me for it in the future

[Chikwado @quado_]

@microbialawyer They know what they are doing better than you.
The difference is that you think your own choice of religion is superior. They have outgrown that.

[Chikwado @quado_]

@Cleverlydey4u This boy is John.
How will you allow this kind of embarrassment.

[Chikwado @quado_]

@zubby_ojonuba @ray_alo Diminishing return, Zubby. Diminishing return

[Anthony Albanese @AlboMP]

My statement formally recognising the State of Palestine.

[Mark Carney @MarkJCarney]

Today, Canada recognises the State of Palestine.

[Chikwado @quado_]

@fwdaniels Any man who goes for more than 5 rounds with the same woman in a day is incompetent. No woman can take more than 5 rounds of complete, thorough, and bed-breaking pounding in a day.

[Óbinna @ugwu_obinn]

To love and to Cherish every day of our lives.
A journey of forever starts with a blessing❤️

[The Spectator Index @spectatorindex]

BREAKING: Indian officials say the country will continue to purchase Russian oil despite Trump threats, according to report in the New York Times.

[Ugochukwu Madu @UgochukwuCFR]

In August 2022, I came to the United States on a student visa to pursue a 5-year direct, fully funded PhD with nothing but a bag full of dreams. Recently, one of those dreams came true: I submitted a self-petition to the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) for permanent residency and was approved under the EB-1A Alien of Extraordinary Ability classification on my first attempt.

The EB-1A green card is nicknamed the “Einstein Visa” after the renowned scientist Albert Einstein, due to its exceptionally high standards. It is reserved for individuals with “EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY” in their field. To qualify for the EB-1A, evidence of sustained national and international acclaim is required.

With this, my wife and I will be permanent residents, and someday, citizens of the United States of America.

The truth is, it took a village, and I’m grateful to God and everyone He used to make this happen.

And now that this is off my checklist, let’s get this PhD over with. It’s dissertation and publication o’clock!

God bless the United States of America🇺🇸

[Davido @davido]

Nah ur mama go knack wrong person no be my problem bro

[Mark Carney @MarkJCarney]

Canada has long been committed to a two-state solution — an independent, viable, and sovereign Palestinian state living side by side with the State of Israel in peace and security.

My statement on Canada’s recognition of a Palestinian state:

[𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕋𝕨𝕚 𝕋𝕨𝕚 𝕤𝕖𝕗 @Boy_TwiTwi]

Come out of her !!!! You fowl spirit!!

[xoxo💋 @belemaa_x]

First Class Honours
https://t.co/K95rYporRS (Hons) Software Engineering 🥇🥇

[Chikwado @quado_]

@geegpay_hq @_E_vonn @silversurferng @RichardOyome The last sentence is the most important. I hope we don't have to read similar messages going forward.