swamp monster

wabi sabi mami, shroomin bean, teak freak (she/they)

[swamp monster @quakesters]

nothin’ more expensive than a free bobsled

[swamp monster @quakesters]

Oops! All Nuts November

[swamp monster @quakesters]

the absolute tailspin i’ve been in since my deodorant got discontinued a year ago

[swamp monster @quakesters]

i have this recurring nightmare that i have 2+ fish tanks i forgot about. (i don’t have any fish tanks in my waking life)

[swamp monster @quakesters]

here’s the deal i don’t like this website but the other ones are not as funny so just take that into consideration

[swamp monster @quakesters]

@_hxrrybxtt wagon wheel

[swamp monster @quakesters]

i like to think i’m just on a higher level of instagram reels. like at least 4 or 5 steps up the algorithms ladder than your average user.

[swamp monster @quakesters]

i barely know anyone who is rat-neutral

[swamp monster @quakesters]

sneeziest bitch award

[swamp monster @quakesters]

Do you think elvis would have died if he was in a Frosted Stall?

[swamp monster @quakesters]

looked in my pantry and had to face some cold, hard facts

[swamp monster @quakesters]

people can do hard things*!

*throw away makeup from the obama administration

[swamp monster @quakesters]

I want whoever does logistics for Spirit Halloween to run my life

[swamp monster @quakesters]

i know i’m getting older cuz the spammy ads on news websites are getting more tempting

[swamp monster @quakesters]

there’s only one kind of plant that goes in the basement

[swamp monster @quakesters]

life hack: get lost at sea, it’s free

[swamp monster @quakesters]

@HistoryHailey get lost at sea, it’s free!

[swamp monster @quakesters]

(n4n) i am a closeted neopian

[swamp monster @quakesters]

if you borrow a paint sample book for longer than 1 year, you should be given an urgent referral for psychiatric evaluation

[swamp monster @quakesters]

“hubby” is short for grubhub