The Grim Raven

Evermore watching, sometimes quothing. Wit and wisdom from the Grim Raven.

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

People who give out free samples are like cats. If you don’t want any, they are desperate to give it to you, but if you do want some, they lose interest in you straight away #pretendingidontwantfreestuff #freebies #freesamples #cats

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

Realised something about the grinch today. He was a dog person, so he was never really committed to being a grinch. If he really was committed, he would of been a cat person, no remorse, no change of heart, just forever avoiding people and social events. That's how to do it.

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

They are like a bra, they are uncomfortable and annoying, and you just want to take them off. Wearing hearing aids all day causes over stimulation. I just need some down time in my own home.

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

Feel so seen right now. Watching my life with the Walter boys and the hard of hearing brother took off his hearing aids as soon as he got home. I get complaints when I'm not wearing them at home, because I can't hear people as well. But when you get home, you just want to chill.

[Olaf Falafel @OFalafel]

He's making a list,
And checking it twice,
You're gonna find number 12
Very hard to believe.
Santa Clause is working
for Buzzfeed.

[Smooth Dunk @SmoothDunk]

Finally watched Barbie. Two things: Firstly, it’s pretty great. Secondly, when Barbie and Ken went to the Real World this comic popped into my head and I had to get it out

[poorly drawn cats @poorlycatdraw]

the special ingredient ✨

[Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain]

SEO before the internet was calling your cab company AAAAAAAAAAARDVARK Taxis.

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

Kitty would definitely get my heart back in rhythm. Purrfect.

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

How many cats does it take to change a lightbulb?

[cats with jobs 🛠 @CatWorkers]

Who called for an electrician? https://t.co/PonQLescdU

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

Does anyone else double tap their hearing aid like testing one two, to check if it is on?

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

What did I just say?

#aliceoseman #radiosilence

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

Love Oscar Wilde, but art imitates life far more than life imitates art.

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

Curiosity didn't kill the cat for no reason.

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

Sticking your nose where it's not wanted must be about cats. Cause I never stick my nose anywhere, let alone where it's not wanted, but it's literally what cats do, all the time.

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

Give that "genius" an Ig Nobel Prize.

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

Who was the genius who thought putting light switches on the outside of rooms was a good idea? I've never needed a light switch when I'm not in a room. It's so annoying when someone walks past and accidentally or maybe on purpose turns the light off on you.

[Tom Gauld @tomgauld]

my cartoon for yesterday’s @GdnSaturday / @GuardianBooks

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

Seen heaps of these pervs inside the house. Get a room! But not one of mine!

[ABC News @abcnews]

Winter is coming, and so are hordes of Portuguese millipedes https://t.co/n5C5t6ZotA

[Wizard Cal 🕯️✨ @MageOfSolitude]

"You can be whatever you want when you grow up" turned out to have limitations, so fully embrace what you *can* be. A wizard, an untamed creature of the forest communing with trees, a dark haunted horror that lurks in the night, an eater of muffins. Follow the dreams left to you!

[The Grim Raven @quothgrimraven]

They say gardening is supposed to be relaxing. I already feel guilt when I kill my plants, I really didn't need to know they die screaming as well.

[ABC News @abcnews]

#ANALYSIS: Research suggests your thirsty plants could be silently screaming at you https://t.co/Ar4NbZCT7q