Ryan Carlson

I pour milk before cereal

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

Just ran over a rabbit that ran out in front of me. I can honestly say I'm crushed...obv not more than the rabbit though

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@AdamSchefter @DanielOyefusi The Lavar ball of the NFL

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@FredToucher Who would’ve thought butthole cancer could spread to the throat. Get well soon man ✊🏼 #prayers4mytoucher

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@Steve_Perrault Dewars

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@UberFacts Your mom

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@OnlyInBOS Mac Jones has thrown 9

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@KDTrey5 When you create your MyCareer player what do you name him? 😂

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@TonyMassarotti Thanks to the commodores sports group

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@UberFacts ur mom

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@EvanApplebaum2 @celtics @ArbellaIns If the shirts were only fans slogan 😂

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@barstoolsports @BSSportsbook I truly expected to see so many brilliant ideas…but all of these blow.

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@Toucherandrich How could the guy being blackmailed pay up if they prevent him from getting a job? Seems like a poor business plan…

[carlson @tomc73]

@CarolinaHuddle LOL did this happen in extra time??@Fire_Burns99 @MLS PLAYER OF THE WEEK!

[CCTV_IDIOTS @cctv_idiots]

Catching some unwanted waves �

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

Hot take here:

The blue frosting on ice cream cake is unreal

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@Dan_Shaughnessy If that guy simply cut me off in gridlock traffic on the way home from work on a Friday...I’d wave an apology like a fuckin bitch

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@waitbutwhy PowerPoint is the shit

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@barstoolsports On the edge of my fuckin seat trying to figure out when his last sip of coffee is! Not much better to do this Monday..night...of football

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@UberFacts Anything to distract me from the fact that what’s in my cheerios, wasn’t once squirted from a barnyard animal

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@CauseWereGuys Half-court considering I’m fat, white, and this isn’t actually happening

[Ryan Carlson @r12carlson]

@ESPNNBA Coming soon