Rachel Tobey

live fearlessly, love ferociously.

[kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed]

My husband pissed me off today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what he had planned for our special day tomorrow

There is nothing special about tomorrow

But there is something special about watching the color leave his face as the panic takes over

[Scott Baculum 🏳️‍🌈🌯💤 @SpamwiseGlamgee]

People in a relationship: I love you to the moon and back

Me: I love you to the moon, but honestly if I just went all the way to the moon, you're gonna drive me back, because this relationship has a give and take and my feet hurt and I'm tired.

[Don Winslow @donwinslow]

Dear millions of white women who voted for Trump

What earned your vote?

Was it when he bragged *ON VIDEO* about sexually assaulting women for YEARS OR was it when he said he wanted to have sex with his daughter OR when he wanted to criminalize your reproductive rights?

?????

[Dr. matthew pierce, PhD, MDiv, RN, LPC, CPA, Jedi @MatthewEPierce]

what if john macarthur told the little women to go home

[Rachel Tobey @r2d2tobey]

@winifred_paige I feel this

[cora @CoraMikat]

idk why but this reminded me of girls who put videos on youtube titled things like “me singing let it go” and play along with block chords on their $36 keyboard their mom got from the kids department in target

[Rachel Tobey @r2d2tobey]

Don’t complain to me about people I love. If you have a problem with them, fix it at the source.

[Greta Thunberg @GretaThunberg]

Our house is on fire.

#2019in5words

[Sam Dylan Finch @samdylanfinch]

Doctor: Hello yes your cholesterol is BAD here are the restrictions I recommend

Me: So I am in recovery for anorexia and I’m wondering if the prolonged restriction may have—

Doc: YOU ARE AT RISK

Me: Okay but my anorexia almost—

Doc: HDL AVOCADO HEART DISEASE

[Rachel Tobey @r2d2tobey]

@winifred_paige You don’t eat your socks when you get home?

[Lex @gooseH0NKH0NK]

I’m driving with my windows down on Christmas day, so our planet is for sure dying. Anyways, merry Christmas!

[Rachel Tobey @r2d2tobey]

@wyhmusic @sethklowery

[Luis Vercetti @97Vercetti]

to the people who put antlers & a nose on their car for xmas

u cant trick me .. i know its a car

[Rachel Tobey @r2d2tobey]

I will start believing that God can perform physical healings when my pancreas start working again. Until then, I’ll just be over here making due with what I got.

[Rachel Tobey @r2d2tobey]

You know you’re going to the right church when there is an oboe solo for Christmas.

[Rachel Tobey @r2d2tobey]

I was once told that I wasn’t a Christian because I was a woman with a loud voice. Sorry, Jesus gave me this voice box. Wanna tell him that he did it wrong?

[Han 💃🏼 @hanfranledge]

I am a woman and I don’t want children. I am a woman and I don’t want children. I am a woman and I don’t want children. I am a woman and I don’t want children. I am a woman and I don’t want children.

AND THAT’S OKAY.
And I’m fed up of hearing “you’ll change your mind”

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

Once you leave marching band you have two options:

(1) compulsively watches marching band videos on YouTube as a primary source of entertainment. Your instrument/memorabilia is proudly displayed somewhere. You still casually rollstep.

(2) seeing a plume gives you nausea.

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

When driving past a field of cows on a road trip it is entirely acceptable to notify the entire car of their presence

“COWS”

[Rachel Tobey @r2d2tobey]

@iambrendan_m Make sure to watch the singing delta Christmas tree. My uncle-in-law will be on it!