r.✨™

... a work in progress... ✍.

[r.✨™ @rachj0919]

the dark web sounds like a pretty badass vacation spot.

[AT @primediscussion]

Came in to see wtf was going on for himself.

[r.✨™ @rachj0919]

just took out a loan to buy my eggs, so things are pretty great

[r.✨™ @rachj0919]

i set my expectations low and my pessimism high

[Bat Shit Crazy @BatBatshitcrazy]

I have very low expectations; so just know if you disappoint me, you've really fucked some shit up.

[big boy online @idonotbleed]

one day you will be dead and you won’t be able to play on your phone so you should spend as much time on it as possible while you can

[r.✨™ @rachj0919]

idk if anyone else knows this but you can have stuffing even if it's not thanksgiving.

[andy @heyitsandy_]

took my own lunch to work and didn’t buy a coffee today so i should be able to afford to buy a house any day now

[jame @kloogans]

snorting a fat rail of catnip in front of my cats so they think i'm a badass

[jame @kloogans]

writers love saying things like "he had a toothy grin" what is a toothy grin. just making shit up. "he walked feetily into the kitchen" that's how you sound

[r.✨™ @rachj0919]

@Wendys Roast me

[steph @steph_mcca]

what i do on the calculator app is between me And God

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

Sure I may be sad but am I gonna let that stop me from living life to the fullest? Yea. I definitely am

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

Being a sky writer seems like a tough job. I have to fly a plane AND spell? Fuck this I’m working for Delta

[Kieran @kieransofar]

me: do you have any kids?

date: one son that’s just under two

me: yah i know how to count

[The B. @anerdonfire2]

I make most of my big life decisions based on what music tells me.

[c🐞 @shesatornado]

I take it back, I really don't care how my email finds you

[r.✨™ @rachj0919]

my hair is it not going gray, it's going achromatic.

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

If I could tell the difference between anxiety, boredom, and hunger I would be so powerful

[ugh ™ @oconeebuildr]

You can use your dog as an excuse to not do lots of stuff AND you don’t even have to own one.