ADHD is ignoring a text message from a close friend for six days because you don't have the mental capacity to compose a "normal" reply, but writing a 400-word paragraph explaining a niche topic to a total stranger in a comment section without hesitation.
I recently came across a piece of writing about sadists that I really liked, and it made me want to share my own perspective.
I think I can say that I’m a sadist.
I don’t know what it’s like for everyone else. I think it’s different for each person. But for me, I don’t enjoy seeing just anyone suffer.
I only enjoy it when I can see that they are enjoying the experience too. I don’t want them to simply endure the pain.
I’ve had experiences with vanilla people who know what I do, jokingly pushing their friends toward me and saying, “Go near her. She might hurt you.”
Maybe it’s just a joke, but honestly, your idea of me is quite wrong.
First, I would never touch someone who hasn’t given me consent.
Second, the moment I feel that someone isn’t enjoying what I’m doing, it’s a complete turn-off for me. I won’t continue. So no, you don’t have to worry that I’m going to hurt you just because you happen to be standing near me.
And sometimes, honestly, I think: why do you think you’re so special that I would even want to touch you?
I don’t give someone pain because I hate them. If anything, it’s the opposite.
For me, this kind of connection takes a lot of care, empathy, and trust. It’s almost like when you see something incredibly cute and feel that strange urge to squeeze it really hard, not because you want to harm it, but because the feeling is so intense that you want to express it physically.
That’s how I see this part of myself. It’s one of the ways I express affection and intimacy, but only with someone I deeply trust.
I’m not doing it to cause damage. I’m doing it to create an experience that brings pleasure and satisfaction to both of us.
ADHD is not a disorder. it's a phenotype. it means you have og genetics.
people with adhd were the elite hunters and gatherers.
adhd is only seen as a "disorder" when you're born in modern times and forced to live an unnatural lifestyle in an unnatural environment.
of course, it's going to be seen as a disorder when you put a kid in a chair for 8 hours a day and force them to study useless shit.
ADHD EXPERIENCES THAT DON’T HAVE OFFICIAL NAMES YET.
So I made a small glossary for the weirdly specific things people with ADHD keep experiencing :1/7
ADHD time blindness solutions that I swear by as someone who is always 5 minutes early now:
- Set alarms for every hour or other regular increment, so you have a regular alert of how much time is passing even if you're focused on something else
- Set alarms for 15 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 5, then a "now" alarm for when you absolutely need to to be out the door to be "on time" (see below)
- Consider 10-15 minutes early to be your new "on time" (because you'll realistically get distracted into being late if you try to get there exactly on time)
- Prepare things in advance. These might be outfit, breakfast, lunch, etc., ensuring less chance you'll get sucked in to something that can cause you to lose track of time (like getting dressed). You can take your time getting distracted with these now, but you can't when you're on a tight schedule/need to rush.
- Use a routine and do your "get ready" tasks in order. Structure helps ADHD a lot in part because variation in routine is more likely to cause forgetting, distraction, and not accurately judging the time needed for tasks.
- Do stuff in the car. Have breakfast options like bars in the car, keep an extra layer or jacket in the car, etc. so you don't get held up fussing about these things and you can leave immediately if you're running late.
- If you have an appointment/scheduled thing later and you're in "waiting mode," set a timer for how much time you will allow yourself to get busy with something else. Set a second timer as a reminder to really stop if you have trouble switching tasks. Waiting mode is anxiety about losing track of time and missing the obligation, so if you set timers, you can allow yourself to get into a task without being preoccupied about starting something else and becoming late.
- If you have a hard time getting going, set an alarm for 30m before your wakeup time and take your meds then. Keep them on your nightstand w water. When your wakeup alarm goes off you'll have an easier time staying focused and not slacking into leaving late.
- Use a watch, ideally analog-looking and easy to read, so that you can see the proportion of time that is left and not just numbers. Using your phone to keep track of time can work but you're more likely to get distracted by it and forget you picked it up just to check the time. I use a Google Pixel watch.