Randi Toynton

gimmie those beans or I’ll take your weenie

[Randi Toynton @randitoynton]

Hey Tyler at your bachelor party in Gatlinburg TN, I doubt that’s your fiancé you’ve been making out with. Twitter do your job 👀

[marley ❤️‍🔥 @marleyharper]

funny that this is an eras tour and the fans who have been by her side through them all won’t even be there

[Randi Toynton @randitoynton]

(Haven’t been in twitter in eons but) @taylornation13 @taylorswift13 is there any way you can help the fans who got completely screwed by @Ticketmaster? I’m so heartbroken I never even got through the queue before they were sold out 😔 not even hopeful for the general sale on Fri

[lisa @ItsOnly1Lisa]

I want to know what kind of pill or drug I need to take in order to do this kind of shit.

[Brooklyn Nine-Nine @brooklyn99]

We know what album Jake Peralta's listening to right now. 🧣

[devon sawa @DevonESawa]

Some idiots wont drive behind a log truck but refuse to take a life saving vaccine.

[Steven Ray Morris @StevenRayMorris]

I just said aloud “that’s not helpful” to something negative I said about myself right now. Is this growth? 🥺

[devon sawa @DevonESawa]

My wife and I want one of those silly novelty signs people put in front of their houses. At the end of the driveway, by the mailbox. You know like “happy lodge” or “something ranch”. I suggested the “Overlook” and she said “oh that’s a nice name”. So no one say fucking nothing.

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

the human likes to say. that i live here rent free. but i would argue. this housing accommodation. is my payment. for a lifetime of love. and excellent company

[seynique @seynique]

i’m a feminist until i gotta carry shit. i’m so dainty teehee

[devon sawa @DevonESawa]

I’d kill for a bucket of popcorn from AMC

[Randi Toynton @randitoynton]

@jimmyfallon In Taylor Swift’s “I Think He Knows” she says “bless my soul!” but I have only ever heard it as “that’s my toe!” 🦶🏼👈🏼 #MisheardLyrics

[devon sawa @DevonESawa]

Can I keep you? But only if you’re vaccinated.

[Randi Toynton @randitoynton]

@MotherOfDasypus That like tiger. I hope it doesn’t get euthanized because of dumbass people.

[ᴇɴᴇʙʀɪɴᴀ 🫍 @enebrina]

Big piss guy huh?

[THE SWAG 🥶 @returnofswagnft]

Me: i have a headache

WebMD: and it’ll be your last

[ryan schocket @RyanSchocket]

Taylor Swift when she realizes she has 94 songs on the loverfolkeverwoodfest setlist

[Mark Ruffalo @MarkRuffalo]

Reconnecting with an old pal. Anyone know where we can get Razzles in Canada?

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Speaking of super bowls:

[Steven Ray Morris @StevenRayMorris]

Corn finds a way.