Got kicked out the casino last night for being too drunk, but when I was getting taken out, folk were asking why, I kept saying “card counting” and the bouncer became the most rattled man in the world. Screaming “that’s not why!” at me.
I used to be late for work all the time. We work from home, so I just lie and say I moved to the west coast. Now waking up at 10:30 am everyday is totally fine.