Chef Ted

Executive Chef; kick-ass dad; outdoor enthusiast; food lover, musician and music lover. Cheers!

[CrankyPappy @CrankyPappy]

They took his Twitter away. If somebody can't handle their Twitter account, they can't handle the nuclear codes.
~ B. Obama

[𝓶♡ @Love_bug1016]

Let's just lay under the stars with our fears and flaws and choose to love fucking hard despite it all.

[Chef Ted @Rarechef]

Surf and turf "clean out the freezer" pasta. Fettuccini Alfredo with spiced shrimp, beef… https://t.co/76EH45b7gV

[Chef Ted @Rarechef]

@Beaningreal by that I mean being used for donuts. I've never had potential.

[Chef Ted @Rarechef]

@Beaningreal Story of my life.haha.

[Chef Ted @Rarechef]

@Beaningreal here I thought you were describing me. 🦄🌈

[Chef Ted @Rarechef]

I just made my instant breakfast with heavy cream and added chocolate syrup because it's important to be healthy.

[Drunk Monk @HighOnDrunk]

To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you're not, pretend you are.

[Chef Ted @Rarechef]

@Poutymcgee that's not what you told me when I started.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

4-year-old: I want to stay barefoot.

Me: But you love shoes. You have a million pairs.

4: I like having them, not wearing them.

[Dad and Buried @DadandBuried]

I could use some parenting advice:

I keep screaming "I'M EXHAUSTED, CUT ME SOME SLACK!" at my 9mo but he doesn't seem to get it. Any ideas?

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

I have a love / ate relationship with tacos.

[olive @offbeatoliv]

It's ok, perm

I'm chemically unbalanced too

[Lose Weight By Eating with Audrey Johns @Tonetiki]

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[Benny 'The Pole' Rollins @citizenkawala]

Donald Trump has all the resources to be Batman. Instead, he chooses to be Donald Trump.

[Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime]

I'm so hungry I could eat an apple

[Island Girl @_Water_Baby]

If you think my all is overwhelming, wait until you see my nothing.