Her Tall Boots

sorry i'm not the needle in the haystack
my one-eyed cat from the hood plus me cleaning urinals)

[Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime]

running feels great unless you compare it to not running

[Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime]

the base of my food pyramid is all the halloween candy I bought 8 weeks before halloween

[Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime]

[coming home from work, seeing neighbors socializing on my front lawn]
drives past my house

[Skurt Vonnegut @ThisLocalHater]

Clicking my heels together three times and ending up at 4am Waffle House

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

I’m feeling confident today. Like Steve Winwood when he’s got James Taylor on backing vocals.

[Damon Hunzeker @DamonHunzeker]

We should have flying air fryers by now.

[Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime]

trust me, Cheryl. You don't need to type the "www dot" in front of websites anymore. just think of it as cRaZy modern technology

[David 🎃 @DBStoner]

I'm from Detroit.
Bad news stopped bothering me years ago.

[Skurt Vonnegut @ThisLocalHater]

One time I flipped my car on prom night and the school gave me a remembrance day and I started lying about my death and stuff a lot

[Damon Hunzeker @DamonHunzeker]

We don’t need flying cars — we need better jetpacks.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

I saw 4 or 5 young high school boys horsing around at the gym yesterday and I smiled to myself as I thought we really need to reinstate a military draft

[Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime]

@RealGabbyHayes Gabby you know ive loved you for literally 10 years, but my allegiance is to hot flaming cheetos

also I could take you in 1 minute
okay maybe 5 minutes

[Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime]

I feel like i've missed out on wide swaths of american pop culture

[Damon Hunzeker @DamonHunzeker]

The abbreviation of “number” is “no.” because everything is a bunch of horseshit.

[Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime]

@AnneHatfieldVO "Cavalier silent letters"! Annie, brilliant!!
Memories of Mrs. Ginsinger (3rd grade) who installed such a love of language, grammar & spelling in me that to this day, irritates my entire family

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

Third grade is when you get the best vocabulary words. Showy prefixes, cavalier silent letters. You're only eight years old, and they're trusting you with the good stuff.

[Damon Hunzeker @DamonHunzeker]

One of the guys fixing our garage roof packs around a beat-up microwave to sit in our driveway and heat up his lunch. I didn’t prepare a punchline for this post. You’ll just have to trust me that it’s funny.

[Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime]

@chefelicious 😘

[Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime]

wish my phone made that soft click sound when I hang up like Andy Griffith's does

[Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime]

wish my phone made that soft click sound when I hang up like Andy Griffith's does

[Sunshine Jarboly @SunshineJarboly]

my boss spends almost 30 minutes explaining a very detailed set of instructions for me to do & i nod my head the entire time until he realizes that he’s actually talking to a life sized bobble head of me & the real me is taking a nap in the park.

[Benny 'The Pole' Rollins @citizenkawala]

I am a queen. I don't mean gay. I mean I can move diagonally.