Rayne’s Comedy

You can trust me I’m a Clean Stand Up Comedian, Hit the follow button if I made you laugh. #raynescomedy

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

FRIEND: [over the phone] Do you think the quarantine has changed you?

ME: [knitting a dress for the raccoons in my backyard] No

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

Current and past presidents should be the best and not the worst of us.

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

I’m convinced this lady tried folding a fitted sheet right before the Oscars and just gave up…
#oscars #oscarlady #temsoscar #tems #whitecloudtem

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

Happy lil head

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

Those insurance commercials are getting very dramatic. Are Jon Hamm and Flo really dating or what?!! I’m all confused.

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

@thescottbarber Man buns could be his butt buns… or honey buns… damn I’m a sinner

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

@scasey79 So shiiinnnny

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

The bad news is I took wrong meds today. The good news is I’m protected from fleas and ticks for the next 3 months.

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

Same

[courtneybonneauimages @cbonneauimages]

I just found a gif of a pineapple barfing and my life is complete.

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

@GaryInYourEars My ex boyfriend is a healing guru now?

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

Church?

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

@SophicThunder Yup 😝

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

@Bob_Powell Bahahaha

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

With much thought & deliberation I have decided to hang up the comedy career. I never thought I was that funny anyway.
I’ve decided to follow a life long dream and become a funeral home director. I’m signing up w eCornell.
I’m hoping this Funeral Home will hire me…

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

@thescottbarber Right?!

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

@thescottbarber Ewww

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

@natgrace79 Ugh. I don’t even know whew to start with this… 😳
It’s just evil.

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

I don’t care how decorative it is or how it will update my space…I’ve watched enough Brady Bunch vacation episodes to know this is bad news!
#hauntedhawaii #cursedobjects

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

Amen

[Rayne’s Comedy @raynescomedy]

Value yourself for who you are. ... not for what your neighborhood cat thinks of you