Rachel

In Australia.

[rick & morty script @mortyscript]

Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?

[Rachel @rayyyych]

@Vodkantots Isnt that why its called "curious george" tho?

[Myrna Tellingheusen @PearlsFromMyrna]

A good host is conscientious of the remaining quantity of toilet tissue long before a guest's arrival.

cc: Margaret

[thomas violence @thomas_violence]

excuse me, police? two dudes are doing a high five near a car and i demand you send a drone to tase them

[Mark @NoticablyBacon]

Remember 2014, where people nominated others to pour a bucket of ice water over their heads to prove they weren't a witch? Good times

[Adrian English 🖤🤍🤓 @adyenglish]

Got into a fight down the pub last night. I gave the other guy a proper licking.

Which just seemed to make him even angrier.

[Rachel @rayyyych]

"Fuck it send"
The most magical words

[Rachel @rayyyych]

It happened because i typed the most outrageous message ever
And made myself hit "send"

[Rachel @rayyyych]

It is lit af

[Rachel @rayyyych]

It was the last thing i expected

[Rachel @rayyyych]

@Tarnrider Yup
*smirk*

[Rachel @rayyyych]

@_rebase Yes its true
I really do care
"idc" is a blatant lie

[Meredith @PerfectPending]

If you don't hear, "I'm hungry" immediately after saying, "time for bed" you must not have kids.

[ste(ph)en @stephenjmolloy]

Me: I hate cutting onions.
Wife: If you chop them under water that should stop the tears.
Me: But won't I drown?
Wife: I want a divorce.

[Rachel @rayyyych]

Idc

[Rachel @rayyyych]

My drunk tweets are shit but idk

[Rachel @rayyyych]

Love is lit

[Rachel @rayyyych]

Lol

[Rachel @rayyyych]

1ft long pizza sub
On italian herbs cheese
Toasted
With avo, spinach, tomato, onion, cappos, olives, jalapeños, olives, garlic sauce, s n' p