Royal Windsor and Maidenhead.

Royal Windsor & Maidenhead Twitter bot. Obviously this is a parody account

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

Windsor remains busy at this time, we are sorry that we did not have time to round up all the homeless people as we did for the royal wedding.

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

Residents of Maidenhead, Taplow, Dedworth, Fifield, Holyport and Slough are reminded that it is not okay to say you are from Windsor when you are away on holiday.

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

We have decided to put a flag up at the town hall so it looks like we are doing something.

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

We would like to express our solidarity with Ukraine and our deep sympathies for the people whose lives are being so brutally affected by this conflict, we don't care enough to let people come here but we do care a bit.
#Conservatives

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

We are expecting two months worth of wind in one day today, please stay inside.
#Weather #StormEunice

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

Here at RBWM we 100% stand behind Boris Johnson. The Sue Gray report will prove that he did nothing wrong. We should let him carry on with the great job that he is doing.
His vaccine rollout has been amazing, he has single-handedly stopped covid in this country.
#Conservatives

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

January is hamster attack season in Windsor and Maidenhead. If you are being attacked please write to us at the town hall and we will send help within 28 days.

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

@HelloMe21790361 Sorry the price was not what you were expecting.
I would have thought that a know all, antivax person like yourself would have done some research beforehand and seen the price. Please don't come back to Windsor, we don't want you.

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

@andyj1979 @OldResidents @richardpgcoe @GeoffreyLHill Thanks for these screenshots of copyrighted material, this 100% saved me from paying to read this.
I wonder how many other people would have paid for this but now don't need to. I guess we won't know until @MaidenheadAds sends you a cease and desist and claims damages.

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

Rubbish collections change tomorrow.

If your collection day is Monday, weeks 1, 3, 7 or 19, please have your bins out by 6.30am, 9.15am, 12.45 or 7.55am
If your collection day is Tuesday weeks 66, 97, 107 or 4, please have your bins out by 2.30am, 1.15am, 1.45pm or 17.55am.

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

We are unable to answer calls at present due to incompetence. We are working to resolve this issue as soon as possible.

If you need to apply, pay or report something, please move to an area with a fully functioning council.

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

During this Conservative lead fuel shortage please do not think about getting on your bike to get around. Look at The Netherlands, they ride bikes all the time but also have legal drugs and a red-light district, this is what will happen to Windsor if you ride a bike.

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

Please remember that during this (100% nothing to do with brexit) fuel crisis that we have another excuse to cut back on services that you have paid for. We are not announcing anything yet but will do in the near future.

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

If you must travel along Maidenhead High Street you should be driving a car, van or lorry. This is 100% safer than a bloody cyclist in neon and lycra going 3mph. Any cyclists will face a fine of £1000.

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

Our anti cycling team have been out and about today putting out the message that cycling will not be tolerated within the Royal Borough. Please drive your car, it is a lot safer and better for the environment probably, also we make money from parking keeping your council tax low.

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

Larger residents (sixteen stone or more) can request a larger black bin via our website. Any household can request additional recycling bins or golf caddies if needed.

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

From Monday 18 October, waste (black bins) will be collected fortnightly. In addition, the council will return to a five-day collection, These changes mean 99% of residents will be moaning on a local Facebook page.

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

By maintaining weekly collections for recycling something about carbon footprints

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

@JoAllman27 Home taping is killing music, FYI

[Royal Windsor and Maidenhead. @RBWMnot]

@s_goater1 @RBWM It's numpties like you that make it necessary to have these rules.