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she/her

[Count Binface @CountBinface]

Labour, Tories, Lib Dems and Greens: I demand you stand down in Clacton. I will be a unity candidate and pledge to build at least one affordable house.

Nigel Farage says he wants The People versus the Establishment. So be it.

Leave him to me.

[The Green Party @TheGreenParty]

Let's make hope normal again.

[Ronan 🐝 @VSVPFERG]

Fucks me off how Wallace treats gromit shite in every film he needs a backhand

[Eduardo García-Molina @eduardo_garcmol]

Roman soldier trying to describe elephants to fellow citizens after encountering them for the first time, 280 BC (colorized):

[J🇾🇪 @365JIM]

no one loves international football more than a woman who doesn’t watch football.

[NDL Ringside @NikoOmilana]

farewell rishi, hold this L

[Clive Wismayer 🇪🇺🥪 @CliveWismayer]

I’m convinced if we simply told these people we’d left without actually doing it, they would be perfectly happy.

[Mikey Smith @mikeysmith]

When you say “my parents worked hard to give me a good education” you’re saying two things.

• State education, which I am in charge of, is bad and should be avoided at all costs.
• If you’re a parent who can’t afford to do that, you aren’t working hard enough for your kids.

[Ruby Miles @mubyriles]

When I fuck up the poached egg

[Rob @roblikesplanes]

Reason 52 why I can’t delete Facebook: a group called ‘Wetherspoons The Game!’ in which you put up a couple of photos of yourselves & explain the occasion, alongside the spoons you’re in. If you’ve got a good post, people will send you a drink. Nana doesn’t know what’s hit her 🤣

[nicole boyce @nicolewboyce]

well i’m off to Burlington

[GAV @GavIsHere]

thinking about her