Reagan Dyer

yep

[Reagan Dyer @rea_dyer]

I always feel like an undercover agent at family get togethers

When really I'm just hiding a tattoo

[Reagan Dyer @rea_dyer]

just saw a 13yo on social media refer to someone as ‘daddyyyyy’
and I threw up in my mouth a little

[A Small Fiction @ASmallFiction]

"No getting on the bed," they told Dog, "you have your own bed."

But at night, he climbed up anyway.

Just in case they were lonely too.

[brady @BradyRailey]

Y’all ever zone out while ur driving and somehow still get to where you’re going without wrecking?

Retweet for yes
Like for no

[Reagan Dyer @rea_dyer]

@Julia_Rhea @katiecat22 okay but real question is how does Christine Baranski look even better in this one than the first?? because I was wondering that the whole movie

[sara @jumper_krazy]

rt if you grew up going to the library

just trying to prove a point

[Reagan Dyer @rea_dyer]

Kid: I wish I could get on the horse right nowwww my legs hurt
Me: how do you think your horse feels?
Kid: *stares at me*
Kid: she has more legs

[Reagan Dyer @rea_dyer]

read pls

[Dr. Buzz Aldrin @TheRealBuzz]

I was on the Moon! #Apollo11 @NASA

[Reagan Dyer @rea_dyer]

my sister describing @Jack_Maynard23 and @ConorMaynard
‘oh you mean the cute one and the singer?’

[K. Alex @k_alex_h]

We have an intern named James. God blessed James with an incredible amount of confidence to the point of arrogance. God did not, however, bless James with any amount of common sense or intelligence. These are his stories.

[Lin-Manuel Miranda @Lin_Manuel]

Gmorning.
How long are you going to keep carrying that one conversation in your heart?
The one where you said or did the exact wrong thing?
It’s DONE. Nothing left but to learn.
Drag it to the trash file.
Click ‘empty trash’
Yes, you’re sure.
Click.
Free up that heart of yours

[™️ @pmyers_tm]

how do I become one of those chai tea and kale girls instead of being the chicken nugs and milkshake girl

[Reagan Dyer @rea_dyer]

when I’m with my parents I really struggle with filtering out all the extra ‘ass’s I throw into every day conversation.
‘that’s a shiny ass car.’
‘that big ass yellow billboard.’
‘my fat ass in those shorts.’

[Reagan Dyer @rea_dyer]

*smoking mom hands 5yo empty cigarette carton to throw away inside Walmart*
*5yo, taking it with a fearful look: you want me to go into THAT dangerous place??

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

you keep saying “females are the weaker sex” but you know what? women have given birth, solved crimes, slain ring-wraiths, defeated the Huns, ridden six horses at one time, swallowed a horse to catch a fly, females are strong as hell

[Reagan Dyer @rea_dyer]

10yo: my mom gets skin injections for wrinkles.
me:
10yo: she makes me dad get Botox.
me:
10yo:
me: you’re dishing all the dirt

[Reagan Dyer @rea_dyer]

@hanna_hayes_ when you find out let a girl know, please

[Reagan Dyer @rea_dyer]

@C_Wise11 My thought process any time I eat fast food

[Reagan Dyer @rea_dyer]

PSA: you are doing your kids a disservice if you teach them that they are entitled to anything.