Kari Pollock

I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things. -Knope

[Ana Navarro-Cárdenas @ananavarro]

Damn! We’re only two eulogies into the #McCainfuneral, and I keep wondering how Jarvanka haven’t yet slinked out of their seats and crawled on their hands and knees out of that church.

[Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen]

When Trump says we can't afford a 2.1% pay increases for federal workers, remember what U.S. taxpayers covered:

Trump golf outings: $77 million
Mnuchin flights: $1 million+
Price flights: $1 million+
Pruitt flights & phone booth: $211k
Zinke door: $139k
Carson dining set: $31k

[Andrew Gillum @AndrewGillum]

What our state and country needs is decency, hope, and leadership. If you agree, join us at https://t.co/fm0ODFFGWU. Also, @ me next time, @realDonaldTrump.

[Holly Figueroa O'Reilly @AynRandPaulRyan]

Holy crap, this video of @jonkarl asking Trump TEN TIMES whether he wanted to say anything about John McCain should be used in every journalism class from now on. 🤣 (My favorite is when he leans over the couch and Melania is not pleased.)

https://t.co/C3Rit8nyXE

[Kari Pollock @realKariPollock]

Perhaps. But you forget, he doesn't care about his kids, they are only tools to him. He'll use them to keep himself out of jail but not the other way around.

[Claude Taylor @TrueFactsStated]

Who sees a negotiated resignation as doable? Resign or we indict 2-3 adult kids (no worries, Tiffany) and if you move to pardon them NY State AG moves aggressively. What do you think?

[Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen]

Don't think Kirstjen Nielsen and Donald Trump's child separation policy has consequences? Watch this.

This is their legacy.

[Brian Beutler @brianbeutler]

This is not what Beto O'Rourke said. It's what Ted Cruz said Beto O'Rourke said. If mainstream journalism had working norms for dealing with bad faith, the story would be that Cruz lied about Beto. Instead, CBS reprints Cruz's lie as though it were true.

[Jamil Smith جميل كريم @JamilSmith]

I’ve had enough of apologies. It has been two full seasons since these NFL protests against racial injustice began, and lazy press continues to promote a deliberately false shorthand. Protesting during the anthem is not protesting the anthem. Delete the original tweet, @CBSNews.

[Kari Pollock @realKariPollock]

@marian_pollock Stock up on neosporin, tums, sponge bob bandaids, and skittles. They should be alright.

[Brian Krassenstein @krassenstein]

BREAKING: @lyft to offer 50-100% off rides to the polls on November 6th!!

Please RETWEET your support for Lyft.

Any friend to voters is a friend to America!

[sam, esq @earth_2_sam]

hey i’m a member of mollie’s family and we are not so fucking small-minded that we generalize a whole population based on some bad individuals. now stop being a fucking snake and using my cousins death as political propaganda. take her name out of your mouth.

[Kaili Joy Gray @KailiJoy]

We could have had Hillary, and then it would just be Tuesday.

[Seth Abramson @SethAbramson]

It's too much to hope for, but the idea of a Cohen plea and a Manafort guilty verdict on the same day is like a hot fudge sundae sitting on a rainbow

[Kat Timpf @KatTimpf]

HAND DRYERS DO NOT WORK EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN BORN HAS BEEN DISAPPOINTED TO SEE A HAND DRYER INSTEAD OF PAPER TOWELS

[The Hoarse Whisperer @TheRealHoarse]

Guys, if we don’t take back the House in November, he’s going to make us all spell it “councel”.

We can’t let the errorists win.

[Kari Pollock @realKariPollock]

IMPORTANT

[Miguel Vasquez @MiguelVasquez3D]

My 3D re-imagining of what Homer Simpson would look like in real life.

[Kari Pollock @realKariPollock]

@Mflatley22 @marian_pollock Make the door decorations a pack of skittles and a dominos coupon.

[@drhonor.bsky.social @drhonor]

Me scrolling through Twitter:

-Oh, fuck this
-Oh, fuck that
-Fuck that too
-Why is everything so stupid?
-Well, that marketing algorithm for shoes is certainly spot on
-Oh, fuck this guy
-Dude, shut up
-Dude, seriously, shut the fuck up
-Aw! Puppies!
-We’re going to hell