Jarvis Cocker

I'm (not) Jarvis fucking Cocker

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

Jarvis Cocker sex tip #889: on St. Patrick's day, sleep with your friends' and/or enemies' wives to make them 'green' with envy.

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

Be on the lookout for my sex tips compilation: "50 Shades of Tweed"

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

Few people know that Liam Gallagher's greatest talent is his ability to simultaneously rub his stomach and pat his head. Good lad, Liam.

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

If Bernard Butler releases a solo album, but no one bothers to buy it, does it make a sound?

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

FACT: Henry Hoover is the bastard love child of Nicky Wire and a regular Hoover

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

MY idea was to make a very different sort of "pulp film". I've got loads of old tapes that would have been perfect for it...

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

Keanu Reeves once moonlit as an alternate lead singer for Primal Scream when Bobby Gillespie was too coked up to perform.

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

Happy birthday to Steve Mackey who says he's 47 today but is really 74. Hides his age well, doesn't he?

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

You may have heard I'll be performing with Beck again. Please be sure to bring your Becktionary for helpful reference.

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

@JnnyG @huntingowls please take note I will not be turning 50 this week, but rather 49 a second time.

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

Steve Mackey's favourite sweets are Parma violets. Similarly, Hannibal Lecter's favourite sweets are Palma Violets.

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

Fact: Several species of birds migrate home to Morrissey's quiff each year to lay their eggs.

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

Some time in the 90's, Bobby Gillespie's blood was replaced entirely with heroin, which now acts as an anti-aging preservative.

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

In addition to being Jason Pierce's alias, J. Spaceman is what Jas Mann prefers to be called in bed.

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

Steve Mackey took his hairstyle inspiration circa Different Class from Gary Oldman's character in The Fifth Element.

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

Jarvis Cocker sex tip #128: Don't stop 'til the train has pulled into the station.

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

Fact: Les Misérables is also what Morrissey calls his penis.

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

Kevin Shields said he'd pay me back the hundred quid he owed me by the end of 1996. Guess who still owes me a hundred quid? #justsaying

[Jarvis Cocker @reallyjcocker]

You can still send me a gift if you like, though.