Rachel

a complex woman

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

The girl from my middle school who talked to her beanie babies and pretended to be a horse in gym class is now a PhD candidate. I was the perfect honor roll, talented, award winning student and guess what? Today my dumb ass is MANAGING A SOAP STORE. You just never know I guess

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

If I win the lottery right now, I’d take the lump sum, book a trip to Paris, and spent every last cent shopping there

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

Imagine being stuck with me on a 4 hr road trip and I’m on AUX explaining the hype behind Chappell Roan and Charli XCX brat album while singing along. This man is scarred for life, guarantee it

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

I think I’m sexually attracted to Chappell Roan after watching her perform live in her little outfit. I mean if you can’t say this during pride month, when can it be said really

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

Me to the absolutely rail thin girl sipping out of her lavender Stanley cup with a floral print claw clip in her hair: *points to smith machine loaded with 300 lbs* are you using this?

[☔ @Whotfismick]

Me when I'm not okay :

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

Revive Seussical on Broadway you cowards

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

Writing rejection texts like the great American novel

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

I am the CEO of immaculate vibes

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

The Body Keeps Score (I lived in New York City for 7 years and to this day check my bag every 3-5 minutes to ensure my keys and wallet are still there)

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

Publix Pharmacy blasting Pocket Full of Sunshine as the hold music : big mood

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

I never knew this but honestly it tracks. Don’t EVER disrespect Ms Patty

[ThotGPT @qkfman]

Friendly reminder that Dan Schneider’s wife is the white lady who said “paper bad, cupcake good” to Patti LaBelle on the Tyra Show

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

Whenever I don’t want to do upper body I think about Patina Miller’s arms

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

Why do men literally shatter your heart and then send you 1-2 instagram reels daily in perpetuity

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

I would love to go to an Eataly rn

[☔ @Whotfismick]

every night

[juju 💰 @ayeejuju]

“you saw me and didnt even say hi”

me :

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

Shoutout to Lolita from @AmexBusiness travel help line…SOMEBODY GIVE THIS WOMAN A RAISE! She was phenomenal in every way 💕

[Rachel @reallyrachelg]

Why don’t men grovel and beg for your forgiveness like they used to? What’s happened to them. It wasn’t long ago I had exes showing up on my doorstep with apology flowers. These days they send you an instagram reel