Dazzler McBride

Offering insight & advice on life as we know it. It’s a bit like journalism... only with more dick jokes.

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

Sit back, relax, & let the RMG crew learn you some knowledge about Buying Your 1st Home http://t.co/kqbRsSNtN4

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

I came back to Xbox after doing the last generation on the PS4 and was immediately greeted by virtual friends I hadn’t gamed with in years.

They welcomed me over Xbox Live with a rousing chorus of, “Wassup N*ggah f*ggot?” and I’m reminded that some things never change 😙

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

Walking through the supermarket and I can’t help but think I’d probably eat more tofu if it didn’t have eff you right in the name 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

Here’s a #funfact!

Both @BBL and #cyberpunk2077 launch on the same day this year 🎉💯

And if you eat enough psilocybin mushrooms beforehand you won’t be able to tell the difference between them...
or a toaster...
or middle c...
or your own father’s love...

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

Does this feel right in 2020?

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

Baby Boomers write articles about trying #smashedavocado. Gen Ys write articles about #negativegearing BUT THEY CANT AFFORD THE DOWNPAYMENT

[A.B. Original @ABOriginalBAM]

OUT NOW! our album feat @dansultan @caitibakermusic n mo! #ReclaimAustralia! https://t.co/tvzg9cPtia :: @badapplesau x @GoldenEraOnline

[Handsome Hugh Whitehouse @Hugh_Whitehouse]

One of my biggest regrets is not having the funds available to #Ventured state wide. RT for a good cause! https://t.co/mXvScm4GCs

[Bad Apples Music @badapplesau]

Personally signed A.B. Original flags available with #ReclaimAustralia pre-order packs. ✊🏾🍎 https://t.co/Z1yhAQXdw9

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

#America gave us Jazz, Richard Pryor, & Google.

Now it's giving us President Elect, Donald Trump.

What the fuck, America #ElectionNight

[Pauline Pantsdown @PPantsdown]

I hate to darken the mood (!) but it's Mike Pence who terrifies me https://t.co/uN7TQnNxUa

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

Hillary last seen using the JFK tunnels to sneak into the Whitehouse. Currently holed up in the Oval, drinking Gin & blasting Kate Bush CDs.

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

Sounds like the plot for a great season finale of Law & Order: SVU! But seriously, this is life now. https://t.co/i6NQOm2IPr

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

We're taking bets on how many day Trump will actually spend as President. Current pool favorites are "0", "64" & "Killmeplz" #Election2016

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

So it turns out that Americans take email security Really. Fucking. Seriously #Election2016

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

Jesus just looked down at America and said, "Nope. Nope. Nope. Not going down there anytime soon." #Election2016

[Dolph Lundgren @Dolph_Lundgren]

Dolph is short for Dolphin. America, follow me to my underwater paradise!

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

WELL THAT'S HAPPENING AGAIN RIGHT NOW!

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

Remember when the GFC wiped out Baby Boomer's retirement funds so they stayed in the workforce & retarded career progression for Gen Ys?

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

Dude behind me just said, "Democracy? More like DemoCRAZY! Amirite?" I turned around & punched him in the dick. For all of us. #Election2016

[Dazzler McBride @realmansguide]

@upulie This has really brought out the disgusting and volatile underbelly in droves! Block 'em. Report 'em. Go back to being amazing.