realised that the final stages of healing for me needn’t be ‘achieving saintlike powers of forgiveness’ but instead just learning to enjoy my life again. with great relief i can now announce that getting better seems achievable
okay so maybe i didn’t write anything today! but i did read, and clean, and sit outside with a friend, and am now on my way to learn how to play a game i’ve wanted to try for over a decade. and maybe that is very small but also it’s not. it’s not at all
i have plans and friends and work i enjoy. access to warm showers and great books and the tiniest cat. people love me and i love them. i must remember this in two weeks when my luteal phase tries to kill me
my favourite thing about being an anxious person with PMDD has got to be never knowing joy. heard good things! but alas nature and nurture collaborated on this one
Mark Fisher: "Instead of treating it as incumbent on individuals to resolve their own psychological distress, instead, that is, of accepting the vast *privatization of stress* that has taken place over the last thirty years, we need to ask: how has it become acceptable that so 1/
girls only want one thing and it’s disgusting (to be able to rewatch Frank Capra’s It Happened One Night (1934) without knowing any troubling information about Clark Gable)
just experienced a severe nervous system reaction and Noticed. ‘oh i suddenly feel very Bad. my chest is tight, my hands are shaking, and i am not breathing correctly. i am agitated and a little bit dizzy. maybe i should stop doing laundry and attend to this.’ and i did!!
unfortunately it is cold and i am beset with a deep and incurable melancholy. so when my little cat curls up in my lap? you Bet we are staying stationary for 2-3 hours. the girlies love staying stationary for 2-3 hours
‘your body will tell you what it needs’ my body thinks it needs several uninterrupted hours of television and regular potato consumption. it cannot be trusted
VOLITION - No. This is somewhere to be. This is all you have, but it’s still something. Streets and sodium lights. The sky, the world. You’re still alive.
Duffer Brothers have confirmed that there is an Episode 9 of Stranger Things 5, but it happened off-screen.
They added it is now up to fans to interpret what actually happened.
In the meantime, may I wish you in advance every happiness for the New Year. If it’s anything like the old one, I, for my part, would sooner consign it to the devil.
Salut.
Your K. M.