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bikeaholic

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Please send any messages, ideas, or considerations to [email protected]

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@CycleofSin electric fan

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For being a guy who was racist against Vietnamese people you’d really think that Mark Wahlberg wouldn’t look so Vietnamese

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If I wasn’t a cyclist I’d be a fascist I can’t lie

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@bimbo_brainrot Wait why

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Restaurant staffing situation is so fucked I’m running shifts buried in the kitchen with two actual children at the front counter like I’m an immigrant small business owner

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@ElroyFudge *statutory liquor store closing times*

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Or deliver alcohol just before liquor stores close in a state with statutory liquor store closing laws and separate liquor stores inside of grocery stores. When the dumbfuck you’re delivering to doesn’t have their ID, and you can’t return to the store before close, the system won’t understand (the grocery store is still open), you’ll contact support, and they’ll tell you to “safely dispose” of the products.

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@jiveb0mber I’ll do this some other time. I was too drunk to remember what twitter spaces are. I couldn’t figure out what a space pussy was. Also I was doing my laundry and hanging out with my friends

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I’m at the liquor store buying shit to make toilet cocktails in an effort to recreate what being born tasted like

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Need a bad bitch to fuck like tribbles but that’s whatever

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Need a bad bitch to puppy pile with

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Need a bad bitch to puppy pile with

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@bimbo_brainrot Female metrosexual

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The mute man knows one swear

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A second adult tricycle has hit the garage I share with my roommates

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I sucked a man in Reno just to watch him cry

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Don’t want to pay for an ultralight tent. Will gladly pay for a tarp. Just need to find a way to turn the bike into a tentpole

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Isn’t it crazy how much of our lives are gobbled up by our stupid little telephones? We made the tools talk to each other and it half-killed everyone

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Riding my bike is the only thing that makes me happy. They’ll find me dead in my garage, strangled by the chain, with my dick caught in the gears

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Didn’t do cardio for a full day and went stark raving mad. Contemplated going homeless. Texted everyone. Freaked out. I’m going to be one very odd, mean old man when I get too old for the bicycle.

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A bit over a year ago I applied for a grant from the National Alternative Lifestyles Fund (put an application in at Arby’s) and now, as a 20 year old man, I live part time in a marijuana grow operation, sleep in a loft bed, and ride an adult tricycle around town.