Red Hot Momma

Single mom to two beautiful kids: Jaxon (7) and Elsa (5). Keeping it classy and sexy and fun! 3

[Red Hot Momma @redhotmomma99]

I just hit follow limit. Which I guess is twitter's way of reminding me that I may have taken a break but I am still it's bitch.

[Red Hot Momma @redhotmomma99]

Over on Facebook I'm bragging about the great time I had with my mom shopping yesterday. Over here I'm confessing I hid in the bathrooms.

[Red Hot Momma @redhotmomma99]

I had the kids for half of Thanksgiving--the wrong half. So they had dinner at their dad's house and bickered at mine. Somebody ate turkey.

[Red Hot Momma @redhotmomma99]

Life is what happens when twitter has other plans.

[WAX @bigwax]

"But you said i was gonna get a brother to play with!" "That's why mommy's going to happy hour."

[Ꮙ @MissvalCa]

Birthday extravaganza over..

Mommy needs a Belvedere.

[Rock⚡️God @redpawn3]

I tweet tweets only a mother could appreciate.

-Mommy Tips Tweeter

[Red Hot Momma @redhotmomma99]

Time to go search Google so I don't forget what a penis looks like.

[RunRob614 @CraftBeerRob]

My 11yo wakes up in her own at 6:30....on weekends....wtf

[Bread John @Breadery]

Apparently there's a difference between supporting public breast feeding and actually cheering them on.

[Accidental Chair @bvb1123]

Gwyneth Paltrow is a "working mom" in the same way Wal-Mart is a little mom-and-pop store

[anthophilas patellas @hollyberryness]

Maybe this will be the nap that changes my life.

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

Not sure if I'm allergic but I'm definitely having a bad reaction to parenthood this morning.

[Red Hot Momma @redhotmomma99]

When you're single, who do you give halftime blowjobs to?

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

Oh cool, my family is playing that game called "Let's keep piling trash on top of trash until it overflows and falls onto the fucking floor.

[Red Hot Momma @redhotmomma99]

I'm getting the impression it's a holiday in Canada, but I'm not exactly sure and I don't want to appear dumb, so I'll just smile and wave.

[NotaRedAngel @countrybredred]

I really shouldn't take me out to public places

[Joel Jeffrey @joeljeffrey]

Wife: When Im pregnant, I bet you'll pass out in the delivery room

Me: I disagree

W: You'll pass out cause you'll be drunk

M: fair enough