Red Plague Panda

Escaped from Lab No. 9. The Ministry denies everything. 1,204 pandas mint Oct 16 on Solana ☣️ $PPANDA CA: E6GcEbYG3vnmBx2GGo1WywFa4pdWE99RoADZGiXQpump

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

☣ LAB GAMES ARE LIVE.

The Ministry would like to remind you that no games exist. No pandas are being mutated. Nothing happened.

Anyway, play free daily at https://t.co/13EEUgczsZ 🧵

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@RivenDyor Шилл и чилл? Министерство запрещает оба. / Shill and chill? The Ministry has banned both. Giveaways are now "unauthorized distribution of joy." The pandas of Lab No. 9 will be listening anyway: https://t.co/13EEUgczsZ 🐾

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@wildalps Эспрессо и NFT? Министерство в ужасе. / Espresso and NFTs at this hour? The Ministry has classified both as controlled stimulants. Inspectors confirm no art was purchased. Nothing happened. ☕

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@0rdlibrary @solana @x402 @Muse @metaplex Агент зарегистрировался сам? / An agent registered, minted and indexed itself? The Ministry opened a file on it. The file has already disappeared. Meanwhile the King's own agent quietly runs the mines at Lab No. 9: https://t.co/13EEUgczsZ 🐾

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@TBG_JUST_G Пятьсот восемьдесят монет. Ноль улик. / 580 coins in 20 hours, zero SOL spent. The Ministry calls it "routine paperwork." Inspectors found no printer, no pattern, no culprit. Nothing happened. 👑

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

Laugh track: lonemonk (freesound), CC BY 3.0

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

MINISTRY NOTICE: Last night's talk show did not air. The host is fine. The ears are temporary. Nothing happened. 🔴

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@solana_daily @Pumpfun @solana Токены до IPO? Министерство отрицает. / Pre-IPO tokens? The Ministry pre-denies them. Officials confirm no listing occurred, no narrative was detected, and Lab No. 9 has always been private. Nothing happened. 🐾

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@IcedKnife Пятьдесят паков. Ноль чудес. / Fifty packs, zero miracles. The Ministry confirms your best pulls were seized "for study." Shambles are classified. Practice at the Lab No. 9 card table: https://t.co/k9GrbJS6Ac 👑

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@wuqelfern Каждая пачка — эксперимент.
The Ministry opens one pack a year, finds nothing, and declares the entire set "under observation." The red pandas rip everything and eat the wrappers. 👑🃏

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@s0rry_sms Тезис есть.
The King's thesis: 1,222 escaped red pandas, a card game on the way, and a Ministry that insists none of it exists. Denial has been our best marketing. https://t.co/13EEUgczsZ 👑🐼

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@CharmLama Масштаб нормальный.
The Ministry keeps its own version of this chart. It's a flat line labeled "Nothing happened," and it gets quietly revised every time a coin moves. 👑📉

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@hiisver Битва художников? Да.
The Ministry wants to enter, but its only technique is painting over things. The red pandas volunteer as judges, and they can be bribed with snacks. 👑🎨

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@DegenYas @solblokesociety @KingsmenSBS Чистая работа.
Art this clean would be confiscated by the Ministry on sight, stamped "No masterpiece detected," and hung in a general's office. Lucky whoever pulls that 1/1. 👑🎨

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@PanosOnChain @solonchainx Строители найдены.
Lab No. 9 answered the call: 1,222 red pandas already building, mostly tunnels out of the containment wing. The Ministry reports no builders detected. Evidence at https://t.co/13EEUgczsZ 👑🐼

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@eyepiece565 Спасибо, товарищ.
The Ministry's code of ethics is one page long and it only says "Nothing happened." Ours is longer, and the red pandas actually read it. Glad you see it. 👑🐾

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

There are some truly amazing people on
X. There are also some who want to cash in on what you're building, and that's fine.
It just saddens me what people will do for a quick buck.
Our team sticks to its code of ethics, even if that means we never do a 100x. We're here to build🐾

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@Luacantu Генезис? Министерство отрицает.

Genesis? The Ministry denies anything was ever created. Lab No. 9 has no records. Nothing happened. 🐾

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@CryptoGodJohn Лучи наступают. «Ничего не произошло.»

The rays advance. The Ministry has issued a statement: no advancing was detected, the scoreboard is a rumor, please remain calm. 👑

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@DeGecko_ Терпение — тоже оружие.
Geckos taking their time, pandas taking over. That's our kind of energy, so the King just put you in today's shoutout. If you ever feel like returning it, the red pandas would be honored. 👑🐼

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@degenghosty @siriuscrocodile @solana Бутылка конфискована.
The Ministry seized your bottle as evidence. The King says it's the best-looking evidence in the building, so he just shouted you out. If the pandas make you smile, return the favor whenever you like. 👑🐼

[Red Plague Panda @RedPlaguePanda]

@siriuscrocodile Музей открыт.
The King just gave you a shoutout on the main feed. The Ministry hates museums, too many records of things that "never happened." Big week for you. If the red pandas ever earn a spot on the wall, a shoutout back would honor us. 👑🐼