Reklmpt

high on hash low on cash

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

@mooserecluse I tried that. They can’t handle me

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

Don't know why just got this feeling I'm gunna do big business on the socials today

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

Do you remember when your mate took the day off to help you move house and he passed away 35 years later before you'd really had a chance to say thank you

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

To the customer experience guys at MY PROTEIN who I'm not allowed to call anymore, I ask you this: is it such a big drain on your time to listen to a few dreams?

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

Balearic house remix of wonderful world by Sam Cooke and it's just the "don't know much about history" line repeated ad infinitum?

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

I must have heard the phrase "Jamie Vardy's having a party" so many times now, I'm actually starting to believe it's true!

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

that he keep doing that to this very day

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

18 yo me used to walk around saying "a juicy tomato" a lot, in some kind of attempt at a continental accent. He felt it was important in some way that he keep doing that

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

A reality TV show called Let's Fuckin Av It hosted by Bez where the contestants have to produce as much serotonin in their brains as they can, by any means they choose, over a 24 hour period

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

I like to play she loves me she loves me not but instead of petals on a flower it's lines of cocaine... it doesn't take long before I really don't care either way!

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

New advert for a company called chards building supplies: life is painful, at chards

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

Cool name

[𝕁♥𝕙𝕟𝕟𝕪 𝕎𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕖 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪-ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 @johnnywreallyx2]

Just to sieze the day as they say, in case you didn't know, i composed the music for the film. ANd I come to you now to say that in all seriousness if you need any music, or jingles, or audio cleanup or anything , i'm about and on the lookout for some work ALSO

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

Do you remember when you thought you saw the northern lights but it was just the bin lorry pulling up outside

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

@robinallender 🙏🏻

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

@mooserecluse u r absolutely dead on

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

My grandad's thinking of trying skydiving. Do you think he's too old? He passed away about 25 years ago

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

@kevkharas 🙏🏻

[Reklmpt @reklmpt]

Once faked my own death as a joke and at the funeral I was in the coffin stifling laughs and my mate was supposed to open it and I'd jump out and surprise my family but he didn't open it and I got cremated