Eric Hogan

The Rothschild family pays thousands to spike my tap water, making it impossible for me to talk to people.

[jos @josiahhughes]

the one gen z thing that pisses me off is they don’t realize NIN and Deftones are first and foremost music for IT guys

[Scourge 🇨🇦 @Scourge_5555]

Small child spotted #TearsOfTheKingdom #Zelda #NintendoSwitch

[𝐟𝐚𝐮ᛋ𝐭 @faustianwigger]

*stays inside for a week straight* "it's over"

*goes for a walk* "we're back"

*returns to messy and sunlight depraved room* "it's so over"

[UAE Exotic Falconry & Finance @FalconryFinance]

Ohio right now

That's a giant cloud of polyvinyl chloride and a ton of other bad chemicals

The local police blew it up like a beached whale, now megatoxins are Chernobyling Ohio and there's a news blackout and the police are beating reporters and camera people and dragging em

[Eric Hogan @relatable_name]

@polish_numerals

[Eric Hogan @relatable_name]

@Chert_Tweets @AnthonyFentanyl yeah, could have been 2 variables that change value and an if/and gate to check the value of them. 5 lines max

[Eric Hogan @relatable_name]

@TheJonCummins "Alexa, bring up ariana grande feet stank"

[Eric Hogan @relatable_name]

addicted to nicotine once, shame on you.
addicted to nicotine twice, smoker's trick.

[wint @dril]

being a dumb ass is bad enough, but being a dumb ass, in 2020??? You fucked up big time

[zach @psychicpebble]

alien’s misfortune (feat. @MichaelRCusack)

[Denis B. Huppert 🇫🇷 @dennisbhooper]

My painting of George H.W. Bush

[Eric Hogan @relatable_name]

In a very proud tone,
"Yeah, you could call me a bit of an idiot"

[Catalyst @CatalystNB]

Deleting bad tweets, call that shit an L-cancel

[Michael Cusack @MichaelRCusack]

My weekly conversation.

[law dog, esq. @ggooooddddoogg]

kids are being deprived of the abject terror of wondering if your high school teacher can tell you’re stoned

[Eric Hogan @relatable_name]

I wish I was 80 so my family could euthanize me for my crimes.

(-tanning my own hind
-having a taste of the chap stick
-pooing in the asparagus garden)