lo but a grad student

bad, like morally

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

Me & my chef bf take turns cooking so a typical week of dinners looks something like:

Mon: kraft

Tues: rack of lamb with merlot glaze

Wed: canned soup

Thurs: lobster thermidor & roasted brussels sprouts

Fri: toast

Sat: steak au poivre & duck fat fries

Sun: hot dogs

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

Me ages 16-25: Nothing matters!!! (In a bad way!)

Me ages 26+: Nothing matters!!! (In a good way!)

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

“What did you think of the coronation?”

Sorry but what in the American-Irish heritage did you just say to me?

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

If the TikTok algorithm is so precise why can’t it figure out I’m a GD Aquarius?!?

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

It breaks my heart that the main reaction of other women to me after I shaved my head has been:

“Wow I want to…but I’m not brave enough”

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

Come everyone time to use YouTube as god and Steve Chen intended

To watch the Super Bowl halftime show over and over and over and over

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

Happy HGTV Dream Home Sweepstakes Season to all who celebrate

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

This is literally the second year in a row that my top Spotify wrapped artist is an artist that I actively don’t listen to?????

I literally don’t understand this

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

Happy for Wes Moore

But not his speeches giving Danny Chung vibes

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

NOW is the time to curate your Spotify Wrapped. These next 17 weeks your actions will directly correlate to the effort you put into curating your Wrapped.

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

@mongsterx @sab5280 literally was I was thinking. Me let me be a random dream bridesmaid please

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

After almost 13 years of working on and off in restaurants/hospitality tonight was my last shift ever

I know most people might consider that to be a good thing, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sad

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

Robbin didn’t even bother rehearsing crashing his Scion TC at 100 mph.

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

@selfcareclaire_

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

Whenever I my fiancé and I decide to order something from Amazon I say something to the effect of “okay I’ll speak to Jeff about that” or “I’ll email Jeff and see what he can do.”

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

Things I consider the height of comedy as of late:

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

When my young coworkers tell me they want a “timeless and classy” wedding aesthetic so they’re going with a “black and white theme” and I respond:

“oh? Like Trisha Paytas?”

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

Look I’m not trying to brag but between my two hospital jobs and my bartending job it is a medical miracle that I haven’t gotten COVID yet

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

@jos_ebooks Count me in

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

@charzweber Either Season 9: Smerkins or Season 14: Engaged hahaha

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

Because I am insane, I think about my life in “seasons” rather than like what I was doing in certain years or ages

I’ll think like “oh I was in my Korea season when that happened” and each season is associated with certain “characters” and “sets” and “stories”

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

Anyway all that to say I can feel myself starting a new season and I’m really ready for it to get going 🤗

[lo but a grad student @retiredlaura]

And like seasons of a TV show, some seasons are longer and some are shorter, some seasons are better and some seasons are just bad. Some characters become “guests” and some get promoted to regulars. I have my favorite season and my least favorite season Etc etc etc